Anonymous wrote:If your daughter is so anxious about being given a tour of a college by a family friend, how's she ever going to handle college on her own?

I am wondering the same- and I have anxiety, as does my DH and both kids!

I have a girl with anxiety, and while we aren't at the age of college visits yet, I would probably make her do the dinner even if you're anticipating it will be a long day. You don't have to go for a 2-3 hour fancy dinner; but a nice dinner offered is a lovely thing. It's possible the friend won't even want to, but I would still offer.

We have seen a few friends on tour and it never occurred to me that they would like to go out to dinner. I'm sure the gift certificate to a local coffee shop is more than enough. If they do go out for coffee your daughter should pay. I just dont think meeting you is that big of imposition and they are happy to do it briefly and be done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seriously can’t take her for dinner or even coffee? Life is not this hard.

well for some people, it IS hard. Why not maybe ask her her favorite Starbucks drink and bring that along with something homemade?

How is she going to manage going away to college?

I think it's totally fine not to worry at all about this unless you're actually doing something over the dinner hour (which it doesn't sound like). As a college student I wouldn't have really wanted to go out to dinner with people I didn't know well either anyway. What about sending a thank you note with a gift certificate to a restaurant or whatever after the visit?

If your daughter is so anxious about being given a tour of a college by a family friend, how's she ever going to handle college on her own?

Tell DD to pay if they go out for coffee or lunch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be nice if you took her to dinner. But how about instead, you show up with some snacks in a nice bag or basket - popcorn, Cheese-Its, candy, coconut water, etc.?

I wouldn't do that, unless you're sure of no dietary restrictions/allergies/etc...

Please. The kid's a senior in college - they can manage their own food, and share whatever they can't eat with friends.

Anonymous wrote:You seriously can’t take her for dinner or even coffee? Life is not this hard.

well for some people, it IS hard. Why not maybe ask her her favorite Starbucks drink and bring that along with something homemade?

You seriously can’t take her for dinner or even coffee? Life is not this hard.

No, it’s fine. She’s a college student. She might have other plans for that evening anyway and might want to only give you an hour or two of her time.

I agree, it'd be nice but I'm the same way. I am an introvert as is my DC and I'd rather just have one on one time to download from the day. I think it's a great idea who send a gift card or bring something as the PP suggested.

Anonymous wrote:It would be nice if you took her to dinner. But how about instead, you show up with some snacks in a nice bag or basket - popcorn, Cheese-Its, candy, coconut water, etc.?

I wouldn't do that, unless you're sure of no dietary restrictions/allergies/etc...

It would be nice if you took her to dinner. But how about instead, you show up with some snacks in a nice bag or basket - popcorn, Cheese-Its, candy, coconut water, etc.?

We're meeting up with a family friend who is a senior when we visit one of the colleges next week. She will likely take DD around campus a bit. I think the easiest time to meet up with her is late afternoon, based on our schedule.

DD has some anxiety, and while she is excited to look at colleges, the trip may be a bit overwhelming for her.

If we were a family of extroverts, I think the polite thing to do would be to offer to take the college student out for dinner. Do I need to do this? I'm very happy to send a thank you note with a gift card from one of the local coffee shops. If it were just me in town for some reason, I'd be happy to take her out. I just feel like my primary obligation is to my daughter, and that might be a lot for her (having toured a different school already that morning).

I know when I was in college it was a real treat for someone to take you to a restaurant and pay for dinner - I don't want to make her feel bad if we don't do that.