You need a lawyer, OP. Typically custody starts at
50/50 in Virginia. One of you has to take the child with you when you move out, it's not like you're kidnapping her by doing so. If you can, I would get sit down with your husband and get your custody/financial plan in writing.

Unfortunately my marriage is headed towards a separation. We have a 23 month old daughter and We live in Fairfax county. Our rental lease ends April 5th. We do not plan to renew. I would like to find an apartment with ourdaughter. I am very willing for a shared custody with hubby though I’m scared he will be very difficult. If both spouses move to a separate home, who automatically gets the child? I work from home and fulfill most of her needs. If I take our daughter with me, will that work against me when we go to seek joint custody? Can I move out a week before lease expires without fearing desertion?