Anonymous wrote:I would venture to guess that most of these successful second marriages didn't have prior contentious divorces (due to abuse or infidelity), too.

or came out of an adulterous affair.

I would venture to guess that most of these successful second marriages didn't have prior contentious divorces (due to abuse or infidelity), too.

Sometimes people who say it's successful are just in denial. Or they consider it a success because *they* got what they wanted, and the burdens it places on others are ignored or accepted as insignificant.

You should title this successful second relationships.

IMO, once someone has kids or reaches a certain age, it is much, much better to live together rather than marry.

I knew a man who became a widower in his 60s, had a relationship after that which lasted 20 years (until her death) and then had another relationship which lasted more than 10 years until his death, he was in his 90s.

He never married and never moved in with these women although they saw each other daily, went back and forth staying at each others homes. He just said they were perpetually engaged!

Sure kept things simple when it came to finances, caretaking, wills, etc. not to mention allowing time for each to prioritize and spend time with their own kids/grandkids without anyone getting short-changed or creating conflicts which sometimes happens with spouses and a shared home.

My MIL was widowed about 20 years ago and she remarried a few years after. They’re happy as clams together as they age and DH’s step-father was a wonderful father figure for the kids after they lost dad.

Anonymous wrote:My sister married and had a child at 18. Divorced at 26. Dated second dh for 7 years and has been happily married to him for 14 years. My sister, her ex dh and dh are all friends and on good terms with each other. Ex and dh even go to games, hang out and play guitar together. Ex is often at our family events with his second wife and dc. They are proud grandparents and her dh is a wonderful step dad and grandparent.

This sounds so good and healthy. Shout out to your sister, her ex, and her DH.

no

I'm in my 50s. By this point in life, there are plenty of second marriages around -- and most that I know are successful. The folks I know who were married previously and divorced really worked on themselves. By the time of the second marriage, they knew how to do it better and they knew what mattered. Among those who were widowed, there seems to be a grace and gratitude that provides a solid foundation.

My parents each remarried after their divorce and have been together for ages now. They are more compatible with their new spouses.

My sister married and had a child at 18. Divorced at 26. Dated second dh for 7 years and has been happily married to him for 14 years. My sister, her ex dh and dh are all friends and on good terms with each other. Ex and dh even go to games, hang out and play guitar together. Ex is often at our family events with his second wife and dc. They are proud grandparents and her dh is a wonderful step dad and grandparent.

I know several people in successful second marriages. All have kids together and are in it for the long haul.

My dad and stepmom - been together 32 years. Both very laid back and down-to-earth, and just generally share a similar worldview.

My uncle and his second wife have been together nearly twenty years (both were divorced with a kid when they got together). Again, very compatible.

DCUM is very anti-marriage for single parents but I think the fear is mostly unfounded (and they want to bond over sticking with their miserable marriages lol).

My mom and stepdad. Next year is their 30th wedding anniversary. They’re very happy and very well matched. He’s great.

Lots of variables here, but I'll bite.

Married at 23. No Kids. Divorced at 30.

Remarried at 35. Two Kids. Celebrated 17 years last week.

The end.

That’s the question.