Anonymous wrote:I was pretty embarrassed about this in my early 30s. Now, at almost 40, I am pleased to continue to be renting a great house in a great school district, with GOBS of money saved to purchase whatever house I want when it comes along and hits all the right buttons.

I am guessing this will be you in a few years, so hang in there!

This is good advice. We waited a long time but when we did buy at age 37 (which I know is still relatively young for a millennial), we got the exact house we wanted. Well it wasn’t updated but other than that! I’m glad we held off, ultimately.

Just be careful you haven’t bought because you’re spending most of your money on entertainment, travel etc and can’t make any sacrifices. The few friends I know still renting all can’t accept that they need to start off in a starter home. They live lavish lifestyles and are too good for a starter home type of place. They continue renting nicer places than they could afford to buy. They never build any equity. Now we are no longer in our starter home and they don’t seem to understand we had to sacrifice to get to where we are now.

We have friends who bought a mansion in an exclusive town in Connecticut around the same time we bought a simple townhouse in a middle class neighborhood. We're all the same age but DH and I wandered a bit careerwise and education wise in our twenties while our friend stayed focused on one career path and now is a partner in a big accounting firm. Who cares?

You'll get there.

I was pretty embarrassed about this in my early 30s. Now, at almost 40, I am pleased to continue to be renting a great house in a great school district, with GOBS of money saved to purchase whatever house I want when it comes along and hits all the right buttons.

I am guessing this will be you in a few years, so hang in there!

I didn't buy until my 40s and I'm proud of my choices. I could have rented a nicer place, but I rented a cheap place and saved for my deposit. I could have stretched to buy and ended up in a precarious place, but I waited until I was in a place where my mortgage has a very low interest rate and my payment is very affordable.

No need to compare yourself to other people. You have your health and your own life. Nothing wrong with renting in your 30s. Some people never own.

I felt the same. It’s easy to say “don’t worry about what others think” but it’s a lot harder not to, so I won’t say it. But just remind yourself that life isn’t a race to see who reaches society’s arbitrary milestones first.

We rented until our 40s with kids in middle elementary. You’re ready when you’re ready.
Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:We bought our forever home in our mid 30s. One and done.

Same, but mid-40s.

Anonymous wrote:This might be a family relationships thread.

+1

We bought our forever home in our mid 30s. One and done.

At the end of your life, you likely won’t look back and regret not hitting certain perceived financial milestones by certain arbitrary ages.

Don't feel embarrassed. Owning can be a great financial move once you're ready to take that step, but there is never anything wrong with renting. And anyone who claims they're a more of a real adult because of something like this is not worth your time. All the best people I know still feel like three kids in a trenchcoat no matter how accomplished they become, anyway.

That said, if you're getting your financial advice from DCUM, be aware that there are quite a few people who give advice is that very conservative in a way that I think disproportionately harms first time home buyers. For example, you should be aware that the median first time home buyer puts far less than 20% down, that this has been true for years, and that foreclosures are nonetheless pretty rare.

This might be a family relationships thread.

Our younger siblings in finance and tech have already bought million dollar homes while DH and I are still renting an apartment. We are saving for a downpayment. Sometimes I feel embarrassed.