My husband has a coffee date with daughter every month.

We do lots, my parents very little. Occasionally my Dad would take me out to eat (every few months) and Mom might take me shopping a few times a year but was it if you don't include screaming at each other. They traveled, went out to dinner, etc. without us.

My mom didn't do anything like that with me.

With one of my sons, we bonded by running together. Not necessarily training runs, but going to races. We did some local races together and also traveled to races (Disneyland and Disney World) and I think he really liked having that with me (he is in his 20s now.)

Anonymous wrote:Walking our family dog together. Going to the beach or scenic type walk where we would have a picnic and maybe buy an ice cream. We didn’t have much money so getting an ice cream was a treat. DD is 9 and we do a lot of family hikes and then get ice cream or Starbucks after. She enjoys doing crafty stuff or art with me. I just bought a couple birdhouses/birdfeeders from Michaels and we are going to paint them tomorrow and hang from our tree.

PP here. I had a ton of activities to do with my daughter when she was 9. It’s been much harder to find activities at age 12/13.

Bond? No. My mother never did that kind of stuff.

As for me, I do take my young teens shopping or out to eat or we watch trashy reality TV together and lay around and chat. I also blow dry my daughter’s hair several nights a week, and we talk and talk, and she gives me all the gossip.

Walking our family dog together. Going to the beach or scenic type walk where we would have a picnic and maybe buy an ice cream. We didn’t have much money so getting an ice cream was a treat. DD is 9 and we do a lot of family hikes and then get ice cream or Starbucks after. She enjoys doing crafty stuff or art with me. I just bought a couple birdhouses/birdfeeders from Michaels and we are going to paint them tomorrow and hang from our tree.

Trips with my dad to the bookstore or library and chatting about our finds on the drive home

Walking with the dog to the park after dinner

My dad and I did the family grocery shopping. Every Friday morning before school from the time I started school through high school. He didn’t cook and we were just following my mom’s list, but he’d always get me a cocoa or coffee (when I was older) after. It was our thing. We also did (and still do when my family visits) jigsaw puzzles together.

My mom and I played math related games. Rummikub and logic puzzles mostly, the written deduce who wears yellow pants on Tuesday kind. That probably sounds not interesting but she taught math and I was pretty good at and into math, math team captain and all, ha. I credit my early interest in logic puzzles to her for my perfect score on that section of the LSAT.

I did a couple of solo trips with each parent as a teen/tween. It was always a lot of fun...figuring out where we'd go, what we'd do when we got there, etc. They'd let me do most of the planning, which felt very adult.

What I did with my parents had zero connection to how I bonded with my daughter. For about two years the only way to bond with her was to take her to Starbucks. It kinda sucked for me.

Nothing. My parents did nothing with us.

I don't think you need to worry about losing her. I had no interest in being around my mother from age 12 to 22. Now we are very close. I'm not saying this to discourage you but don't put too much pressure on yourself, as long as you are kind and loving she will come around!

Anonymous wrote:Growing up, as a tween/teen, I remember Thursday nights were spent at the mall with my mom. We’d have a snack and she would buy me a new article of clothing for the weekend. We did this probably every week. In the summer, we would take long bike rides almost every day and talk.

My mom is getting older and I had a dream last night that I was a kid again doing these things with her.

I can’t seem to find anything to bond with my tween daughter. She’s not interested in spending much time with me, even doing things she’d like to do. I want to connect before I lose her. Looking for inspiration.

Just wanted to commiserate with you. I have the same memories with my mom and would love to bond more with my tween daughter. You tube and the computer in general takes up a lot of her time and I’ not going to play field hockey or violin with her (her extracurricular activities). Wish I enjoyed baking or something like that!

On Saturdays, my mom would work and my dad would take me to the local pizza place for an all cheese lunch. Cheese pizza, cheese pizza bread, cheese sticks and Cokes. We'd sit and watch college football or whatever they had on television.

It was great because it was definitely junk food (which we weren't often permitted), I got to spend time with my Dad, and it was very much routine.

Growing up, as a tween/teen, I remember Thursday nights were spent at the mall with my mom. We’d have a snack and she would buy me a new article of clothing for the weekend. We did this probably every week. In the summer, we would take long bike rides almost every day and talk.

My mom is getting older and I had a dream last night that I was a kid again doing these things with her.

I can’t seem to find anything to bond with my tween daughter. She’s not interested in spending much time with me, even doing things she’d like to do. I want to connect before I lose her. Looking for inspiration.