Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And for women, very much who you marry. Would never have married someone the people my friends did thinking it sound too matter at the time but it really does.

Huh?

If you marry who friends say throw away future earnings against the wall kids stick onto wall, spend lots or money or no time either way most people are happy.

Anonymous wrote:As long as you're happy and have a fulfilling career, so what?

That's exactly what I thought at 25, but I didn't realize how much of a difference income makes on every area of your life. Where you can live, where your kids go to school, when or if you can ever retire, if you can travel, if you can afford certain types of healthcare, how you live, the security you feel, the security you can offer your family (parents or children), etc.

It never ends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And for women, very much who you marry. Would never have married someone the people my friends did thinking it sound too matter at the time but it really does.

I know who you didn't marry.. the grammar nazi.

Whom

Yup.

This is why it’s important to let people itemize the bill when you go out. Don’t be one of those wealthier friends who insist it’s all comes out in the wash and it’s easier to split.

-nonprofit attorney with lots of big law friends

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you can't see on the surface is which people are in soul-killing jobs, whether they are paid well or not.

Totally agree - my DH works 70ish hours a week and makes $550K a year. BUT all he does is work or hang out with the kids/me. He rarely has any time for friends or hobbies.

On the other hand we have friends who have no kids and are constantly traveling, going to concerts, out to dinner, etc. They are the same age as us and probably make $200K HHI?

Maybe this is more a product of having kids than HHI though.

That's a function of who you are as a person/family.

Anonymous wrote:And for women, very much who you marry. Would never have married someone the people my friends did thinking it sound too matter at the time but it really does.

Huh?

As long as you're happy and have a fulfilling career, so what?

Anonymous wrote:And for women, very much who you marry. Would never have married someone the people my friends did thinking it sound too matter at the time but it really does.

I know who you didn't marry.. the grammar nazi.

And for women, very much who you marry. Would never have married someone the people my friends did thinking it sound too matter at the time but it really does.

Any job is "soul-killing" if you make it so. The trick is to not care.

The divide becomes apparent starting around age 30 and people start moving into different directions based on income trajectories. Where they can buy houses, kids start going to private schools or not, the quality of travel and other leisurely activities. And it's become worse as the bulk of economic growth accrues to a smaller pool of professional occupations. Law, finance, consulting and tech have really run away with most of the salary growths compared to other sectors.

And people hang with like-minded friends. Choose your tribe.

Anonymous wrote:What you can't see on the surface is which people are in soul-killing jobs, whether they are paid well or not.

Totally agree - my DH works 70ish hours a week and makes $550K a year. BUT all he does is work or hang out with the kids/me. He rarely has any time for friends or hobbies.

On the other hand we have friends who have no kids and are constantly traveling, going to concerts, out to dinner, etc. They are the same age as us and probably make $200K HHI?

Maybe this is more a product of having kids than HHI though.

What you can't see on the surface is which people are in soul-killing jobs, whether they are paid well or not.

Yup.

In our 20s, my peer group consisted of non-profits, consultants, law school students, first and second-year lawyers, and a few engineers. The differences between us didn't seem huge, we went to bars, lived in apartments and group houses, dated, went on lame vacations with our parents or not at all... you all know that life. Were all basically kind of the same poor"ish". A few of my friends threw down lots of money shopping, or had slightly nicer apartments, but the financial differences between us all seemed minimal.

But I'm 45 now, and the discrepancies between those who chose high-paying careers and those who didn't seem huge. The differences in earnings just compounded over time. If I had been able to fully internalize and visualize the difference between a for-profit and non-profit career.