Anonymous wrote:When my kids (ages 11 and 14) hit each other, it’s not done viciously. I usually reprimand the one for hitting and the other for whatever they did to inspire it. And threaten if it continues, they will be separated/sent to their rooms etc. I would definitely take a harder line if they weren’t both equally likely to do the hitting, it was hard enough to actually hurt, or if it was done more than once every few weeks.

OP here, thank you this is helpful. My issue is balancing 15's verbal hits with 12's physical hits in weighing out who's more at fault and where it falls on the viscious meter as for who's getting consequences or if both are. Ugh kids.

Reminds me of the tragic story of Billy and Larry Viscidi of Vienna:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1979/01/31/viscidi-larry-buried-billy-to-spare-his-parents/8dbbce1b-f66a-4213-a653-e2354bce8206/

When my kids (ages 11 and 14) hit each other, it’s not done viciously. I usually reprimand the one for hitting and the other for whatever they did to inspire it. And threaten if it continues, they will be separated/sent to their rooms etc. I would definitely take a harder line if they weren’t both equally likely to do the hitting, it was hard enough to actually hurt, or if it was done more than once every few weeks.

Sounds like the 15 year old has purposefully been doing things to annoy 12 year old and the 12 year old had enough of it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you give consequences. How is this a question?

OP here. Yes Idid give consequences straight away. And no iPad on a Saturday is a big deal around here. I wanted some consensus from other parents or how they differentiate between normal sibling roughhousing vs

To other pp yes I mean whacked as in hit - not a punch or slap, but a whack, to upper arm of 15.

I don’t allow any of that and at that age it would be much more serious and no electronics for a week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you give consequences. How is this a question?

OP here. Yes Idid give consequences straight away. And no iPad on a Saturday is a big deal around here. I wanted some consensus from other parents or how they differentiate between normal sibling roughhousing vs

To other pp yes I mean whacked as in hit - not a punch or slap, but a whack, to upper arm of 15.

A whack to the arm? Oh boo Hoo. I bet he’s disabled for life.

Yeah, not a big deal. Normal roughhousing.

12 year old has to do something of service for the 15-year-old. A load of laundry, do one of his chores, etc...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you give consequences. How is this a question?

OP here. Yes Idid give consequences straight away. And no iPad on a Saturday is a big deal around here. I wanted some consensus from other parents or how they differentiate between normal sibling roughhousing vs

To other pp yes I mean whacked as in hit - not a punch or slap, but a whack, to upper arm of 15.

A whack to the arm? Oh boo Hoo. I bet he’s disabled for life.

Anonymous wrote:Yes you give consequences. How is this a question?

OP here. Yes Idid give consequences straight away. And no iPad on a Saturday is a big deal around here. I wanted some consensus from other parents or how they differentiate between normal sibling roughhousing vs

To other pp yes I mean whacked as in hit - not a punch or slap, but a whack, to upper arm of 15.

Yes you give consequences. How is this a question?

The 15 yr old should have whacked the 12 yr old in return.

Both were wrong. If you want to skip commercials watch alone. When in a group, you have to accommodate. Hitting isn’t ok. I’d have lectured them both (about two sentences for each) and moved on.

Maybe I’ve seen too many Sopranos episodes, but I was very concerned by your thread title. By “whack” do you mean “smack”? Kids are not allowed to hit each other in our family. Roughhousing/wrestling if both kids are having fun is OK, so long as nothing gets broken. You need to make sure they know it’s not ok to physically attack other people, including their siblings. They may well do it when you are not around, but it’s important they know it is not appropriate behavior.

I am assuming you don’t mean assassinated him like a mobster, which would be one definition, so I need you to clarify whacked.

12 year old whacked 15 year old because 15 year old skipped commercials and 12 year old wanted to watch them because one looked funny. 12 days 15 is always ignoring them and doing the opposite of what they want.

Do you give consequences when siblings are rougher than one of them likes? I feel like in some families this whack/shove/trip dynamic is normal and even endearing. But if the one kid doesn't like it, finds it upsetting/shocking/offensive it would be best to give consequences and treat it as a something that's not allowed, or so I'm thinking, but not sure.

FWIW I took away his iPad for the next day, but sort of wondering if 15 could be a little better about this sort of stuff too.