Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Your former friend is a petty soul who is displacing her feelings of powerlessness and anger onto you, an easy target. She’s not a good person. I am an African who lives abroad because white people raped and destroyed my country for hundreds of years, murdered our democratically elected president and installed a dictator after we fought for independence, and then killed some more. White people, especially America and France, continue to harm my country and to make it impossible for my family back home to live decent lives. I can speak to the pain of fleeing home in terror and never being able to go back. It hurts sometimes to see the prosperity and arrogance of people whose way of life is built on stealing from countries like mine. But I still don’t take it out on individuals. Your former friend isn’t a good person and you can’t trust her again.

It’s hilarious to see Americans posting in this thread as if they have any leg to stand on. May you all live to enjoy your just desserts.

I’ve cut off the two Russians I was friendly with.


This is personal. Every single Russian needs to punished for this, not just Putin and the oligarchs.

It’s not personal, she is emotional and on edge, you are a constant reminder of what is happening.

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Are you clearly opposed to the war? One thing we have encountered with Russian friends is that they take an equivocal position regarding the war in which they place some blame on the Ukrainians (or NATO, etc). I can imagine Ukrainians not having a lot of patience with both-sidesing the war right now.

I place absolutely no blame on the Ukrainians. This is their land that is being raped. I do not support Russian position and if anything, I have called for a no fly zone over Ukraine.

It is not enough as a Russian to “call for” something and say you are opposed. What concretely are you doing? you and your family, including your kids? Are you raising money? Are you attending protests? Are you writing your rep and asking for support for a no fly zone? Have you asked how you can support, concretely, your friends family? Do they have relatives still in Ukraine? What concrete help have you offered to get them out or provide them with supies or contacts?

If you are just talk and no action, your friend sees that as a betrayal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Are you clearly opposed to the war? One thing we have encountered with Russian friends is that they take an equivocal position regarding the war in which they place some blame on the Ukrainians (or NATO, etc). I can imagine Ukrainians not having a lot of patience with both-sidesing the war right now.

I place absolutely no blame on the Ukrainians. This is their land that is being raped. I do not support Russian position and if anything, I have called for a no fly zone over Ukraine.

Your friend feels existentially threatened. Are you willing to join her, put it all on the line?

Just curious: how would a Russian-American join a Ukrainian and “put it all on the line”?

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Are you clearly opposed to the war? One thing we have encountered with Russian friends is that they take an equivocal position regarding the war in which they place some blame on the Ukrainians (or NATO, etc). I can imagine Ukrainians not having a lot of patience with both-sidesing the war right now.

I place absolutely no blame on the Ukrainians. This is their land that is being raped. I do not support Russian position and if anything, I have called for a no fly zone over Ukraine.

Your friend feels existentially threatened. Are you willing to join her, put it all on the line?

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Are you clearly opposed to the war? One thing we have encountered with Russian friends is that they take an equivocal position regarding the war in which they place some blame on the Ukrainians (or NATO, etc). I can imagine Ukrainians not having a lot of patience with both-sidesing the war right now.

This. Have noticed the same. Trying to be patient with it and even to understand their point of view, but I feel very much that coulda woulda shoulda (NATO yadda yadda) holds no water compared to the atrocities being committed. Russia has lost all high ground, so why rehash, explain... it comes across as being an apologist and who has patience for that .

jsteele wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Are you clearly opposed to the war? One thing we have encountered with Russian friends is that they take an equivocal position regarding the war in which they place some blame on the Ukrainians (or NATO, etc). I can imagine Ukrainians not having a lot of patience with both-sidesing the war right now.

I place absolutely no blame on the Ukrainians. This is their land that is being raped. I do not support Russian position and if anything, I have called for a no fly zone over Ukraine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Empathize with her

Oh GOd I tried. She blocked me on the 24th. She told her children to block my children. Until the 24th we were vacationing together, celebrating together. I never liked Putin.

Give your friend space. Emotions are running understandably high and raw right now. This is not all about you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Empathize with her

Oh GOd I tried. She blocked me on the 24th. She told her children to block my children. Until the 24th we were vacationing together, celebrating together. I never liked Putin.

Keep trying. If you really empathize with her, then you'd understand and accept why she felt like she had to block you. Give it time.

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Are you clearly opposed to the war? One thing we have encountered with Russian friends is that they take an equivocal position regarding the war in which they place some blame on the Ukrainians (or NATO, etc). I can imagine Ukrainians not having a lot of patience with both-sidesing the war right now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Empathize with her

Oh GOd I tried. She blocked me on the 24th. She told her children to block my children. Until the 24th we were vacationing together, celebrating together. I never liked Putin.

With all due respect you’re not the one having your homeland destroyed by a deranged barbarian. Give your friend space.

Anonymous wrote:and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.

Empathize with her

and she is no longer talking to me. I am anti-Putin, I support humanitarian efforts. She was my friend for 20 years and now she blocked me, told her children not talk to mine. What can I do? What should I do? I am devastated and so are my children.