Anonymous wrote:if your husband doesn't mind commuting by train, why not live near union station in DC and he can train it to newark and back every day? it's like 1 hour and 15 minutes each way, plenty of time for grading or whatever, vs both of you sitting in two hours of traffic, at least.

This is the best solution. NO driving!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the temptation for these situations is to split the difference but the better approach is to live near one job and get the other spouse a train/commuter rail commute.

This. Joe Biden did this for 30+ years and became President.

Either live in DE and pay for private school, or live in DC near Union Station. Splitting the difference is a bad idea, because then someone might not be around in case of emergencies/whatever if both of you end up at the office. It will also be hard to find sporadic back-up, if you both need to go into work on the same day. Childcare providers need consistency.

Yup. Either DE or DC. Great train service between the two areas.

Also, go into the DC office 2 days per pay period (every two weeks). Stack the days next to each other and spend the night in DC.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the temptation for these situations is to split the difference but the better approach is to live near one job and get the other spouse a train/commuter rail commute.

This. Joe Biden did this for 30+ years and became President.

Either live in DE and pay for private school, or live in DC near Union Station. Splitting the difference is a bad idea, because then someone might not be around in case of emergencies/whatever if both of you end up at the office. It will also be hard to find sporadic back-up, if you both need to go into work on the same day. Childcare providers need consistency.

I feel like the temptation for these situations is to split the difference but the better approach is to live near one job and get the other spouse a train/commuter rail commute.

if your husband doesn't mind commuting by train, why not live near union station in DC and he can train it to newark and back every day? it's like 1 hour and 15 minutes each way, plenty of time for grading or whatever, vs both of you sitting in two hours of traffic, at least.

If I were you, I would go no farther south than the White Marsh area to avoid 695 traffic. If you needed to head into DC, you could take the Marc train from Martin Airport if needed. Or head a bit further north - Aberdeen also has Marc service. Granted, it will be a long trip into Union Station with limited trains, but it gets you closer to Newark.

I also live in Baltimore. There is no way in hell it will take only 1.5 hours during rush hour.

OP here! Thanks all for your inputs, very insightful!

I don't know how to respond to each comment, but here it goes:

- We wanted to pick somewhere that's between DC (where I work) and DE (where the husband works). Philly is not a bad option (and great school districts!), but even with hybrid work arrangement for both of us, Philly might be too far on the opposite direction.
- How bad is traffic on I-95 North-bound early in the mornings? Would he be driving against traffic?
- Is traffic on 695 as horrendous as traffic on 495?
- This might change, but my husband is actually looking forward to the long commute and some quiet time without kids yelling at home

I live in Baltimore. I definitely think 2 hours on average to Newark given that you have to take 695 and 95 and both are prone to bad traffic on weekdays during commuting hours.

Why not live in Philly suburbs? You could take Acela from Wilmington or Philly. depending on the suburb, your husband can take Amtrak, septa, or drive to work.

It really depends on your tolerance for traffic, because it will most likely take longer than 1.5 hours each way. Add in tolls and gas money and it sounds very expensive. With that added cost I would look into private schools where you are.

There are a lot of good private schools in Newark/Middletown/Bear/Wilmington.

Anonymous wrote:It’s about 1.5 hours? Sounds feasible if you don’t mind driving and one of you is always home. My concern would be what if both of you have important in-person meetings on the same day? You would need a backup babysitter or neighbor/friend who could help out.

No way. I lived near Ellicott City for a while and just driving up to Towson could take 45+ min at times.

OP expect a long and a PIA commute. Do people do it or more? Sure. But I would figure on avg 2 hrs, give or take 30 min depending on traffic. Just depends on what your tolerance for commutes is. My DH does a 2 hr way (one way) trip to a second job 1-3 times, no problems. For me, I couldnt.

It’s about 1.5 hours? Sounds feasible if you don’t mind driving and one of you is always home. My concern would be what if both of you have important in-person meetings on the same day? You would need a backup babysitter or neighbor/friend who could help out.

Pre-pandemic, I would have said hell no. But with the new hybrid work arrangement, my husband will be going into the office in Newark, Delaware, 3 days a week. I will be going into work in DC at most 2 days a week, if I have to. Right now we live in DE because I work from home 100%. But with not-so-great public schools around here, we want to move closer to the DC-area, specifically Ellicott City.

With two young kids, we are thinking of relocating to Ellicott city, near Ilchester or by Saint Johns village.

One of us will always be working from home and we will also get help if needed.

Crazy or with this new norm, would this be doable...?