Anonymous wrote:It’s funny because a lot of this advice is basically “don’t be a doormat,” which means that in our society when a women isn’t acting like a doormat, she’s being a B.

And I’m sure I sound like a man-hater if I say something like this.

+1. I doubt that most men actually love women who are mean, cutting, etc., but they may well love women who are willing to stand up for themselves when necessary.

Anonymous wrote:I just re-read this classic dating book. It's basically about not being a doormat. If a guy is giving you hot and cold, don't say anything- just walk away.

Do you agree that men secretly love b's?

what a stupid thing to say OP. Some do, many don't. I sure don't.

Don't be a goldfish either, no matter what Ted tells you.

It’s funny because a lot of this advice is basically “don’t be a doormat,” which means that in our society when a women isn’t acting like a doormat, she’s being a B.

And I’m sure I sound like a man-hater if I say something like this.

Anonymous wrote:I am also an old married lady who never read the book and recently discovered reddit FDS (female dating strategy). While I don't agree a lot of their tactics (make sure the man pays, etc), essentially their main messages seems to be 1) Do not tolerate bad behavior and have standards and 2) Be able to take of yourself financially and do not rely on a man.

Honestly any women who is not a b***ch at least some of the time is just a target for predators, abusers, and controlling a$$**les. I have a very sweet nature and learned that it is in my interest to act be assertive, no BS, and direct when dating to weed out the jerks.

This. I did not try to please in any way, I was direct and did what worked for me when dating my now husband. We have a very egalitarian arrangement and he's the best husband in the world. If you get a good guy he will respect you, if he walks away it's his loss.

I am also an old married lady who never read the book and recently discovered reddit FDS (female dating strategy). While I don't agree a lot of their tactics (make sure the man pays, etc), essentially their main messages seems to be 1) Do not tolerate bad behavior and have standards and 2) Be able to take of yourself financially and do not rely on a man.

Honestly any women who is not a b***ch at least some of the time is just a target for predators, abusers, and controlling a$$**les. I have a very sweet nature and learned that it is in my interest to act be assertive, no BS, and direct when dating to weed out the jerks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, there is a tiktok account I follow (I don’t really know why, I’m married and it’s not like I need the advice but I just find what she says so sensible and soothing) that has similar advice but it’s more humanizing for both men and women. Just more rational. I think with following the advice of a book you still might get into a relationship with a guy who isn’t that great but you deal with it by just being strong all the time. The woman who does this tiktok account would steer you away from all men who aren’t that great.

Married as well, but would love to see this tiktok account, what is it?

Ha I love that you’re interested! Here is one of her videos. Warning: she is into manifesting and I am not, but that’s like one out of every 20 of her videos. She’s actually a big law attorney too and super sharp.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdUB5Jsn/?k=1

Anonymous wrote:Also, there is a tiktok account I follow (I don’t really know why, I’m married and it’s not like I need the advice but I just find what she says so sensible and soothing) that has similar advice but it’s more humanizing for both men and women. Just more rational. I think with following the advice of a book you still might get into a relationship with a guy who isn’t that great but you deal with it by just being strong all the time. The woman who does this tiktok account would steer you away from all men who aren’t that great.

Married as well, but would love to see this tiktok account, what is it?

I haven’t read the book but I guess people might say that’s my dating style. I always told men I was dating exactly what I expected and when my expectations weren’t being met. For example absolutely no bullshit about “labels” or “just seeing where things go.” Safe to say I scared off some men (in my view, losers) but always attracted plenty others. Some men hate it. Some men absolutely love it though: no games, clear communication, and not letting them get away with BS.

Also, there is a tiktok account I follow (I don’t really know why, I’m married and it’s not like I need the advice but I just find what she says so sensible and soothing) that has similar advice but it’s more humanizing for both men and women. Just more rational. I think with following the advice of a book you still might get into a relationship with a guy who isn’t that great but you deal with it by just being strong all the time. The woman who does this tiktok account would steer you away from all men who aren’t that great.

YES. Don’t listen to a man’s answer on this, but they absolutely do. I attribute finding my amazing husband to this book, and The Rules. And also ditching the other guy who treated me like crap but then worshipped the ground after I walked out (forever) on him. Old school grandma wisdom works!

Anonymous wrote:I just re-read this classic dating book. It's basically about not being a doormat. If a guy is giving you hot and cold, don't say anything- just walk away.

Do you agree that men secretly love b's?

Maybe at the beginning when it's a fun challenge but definitely not to be married to or in long-term relationship with someone like that. No way.

Anonymous wrote:In a way I hate that book. It’s so disgustingly gendered, like all the stuff about men loving hunting (I don’t want to be thought of as a deer!). And I think it gets a lot of stuff wrong. After all, it’s written by some random women, not any kind of authority.

But it was really helpful for me at a time when I needed the advice. It was the thing that really made me make piece with being single and not settling.

An random woman, not women.

In a way I hate that book. It’s so disgustingly gendered, like all the stuff about men loving hunting (I don’t want to be thought of as a deer!). And I think it gets a lot of stuff wrong. After all, it’s written by some random women, not any kind of authority.

But it was really helpful for me at a time when I needed the advice. It was the thing that really made me make piece with being single and not settling.

I just re-read this classic dating book. It's basically about not being a doormat. If a guy is giving you hot and cold, don't say anything- just walk away.

Do you agree that men secretly love b's?