Wow, I would give him an ultimatum to evict his parents and their things by a certain date or I would divorce. I’m not usually an ultimatum person and don’t take marriage lightly, but this is a serious breach of your marriage bond. How is it that you sold your house and then bought their house without knowing the full situation? Did you use all the proceeds from the sale of your house to buy this one and did you need a mortgage in addition?

Why do they have a second home when they couldnt' afford a first??

They need to sell the seond home and use it to by a smaller house/condo or rent an apartment.

Damn, OP, you been played hard. That stinks -- I tend to agree with the divorce recommendations. You and your DH are on the hook for everything (I assume your name is on the mortgage for the home, too?).

So, don’t move in. Tell your husband that you will need to sell that house and buy another one. Need a marriage counselor or individual counselor to walk you through this. If you move in before they move out, it is not your house.

Go back to work, then divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given this level of duplicity, I'd think long and hard about a divorce. I'm quite serious. The house will be sold, and no one will live there. I'd be done with these people.

+100

Yep. I'd divorce, and demand he buy me out of his shitty, family-infested house.

Anonymous wrote:Given this level of duplicity, I'd think long and hard about a divorce. I'm quite serious. The house will be sold, and no one will live there. I'd be done with these people.

+100

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit, your husband is a jackass for setting you up like this.

He didn’t know either that they would be extending their time in the home - but he doesn’t care either way. He’s happy to live with his parents and support them in whatever they need. Although, I should add they have a SECOND home that’s in a rural area. IMHO - they made bad choices. They chose to refinance every year and has this big plan to move out to the country despite the fact that my MIL is seriously ill and has her entire medical team in town. There’s medical equipment everywhere in the house. My husband wants to rip up the 40+ year old carpet and my SIL’s kids often come over to stay the night. There’s just no peace anywhere - it’s still the family hub.

Given this level of duplicity, I'd think long and hard about a divorce. I'm quite serious. The house will be sold, and no one will live there. I'd be done with these people.

Holy shit, your husband is a jackass for setting you up like this.

So what does your husband say about all of this?
Do you have kids? This is crazy but I suspect you were just the last to know about this plan.

this is bullcrap. you and your husband need to have a chat.

Hoooooly shit. Your husband bait & switched you hard. What a jerk.

Your husband knew or suspected this would be the deal and didn't share with you. Enjoy living with your ILs.

My husband is the sole breadwinner in our family. It was his Dads desire that we purchase the family home, so we did with the understanding they would be moving shortly afterwards.

It was unbeknownst to me that my FIL has been refinancing his home almost every year so there was little to no equity in the home after the sale. They were supposed to be moving out to their second property to which all plans have now seemingly stopped. My MIL hasn’t worked in years due to multiple illnesses and my FIL is recovering from a recent illness. Their plan is to keep living in the home while they recuperate and they are in the process of putting on a new roof (which my husband paid for) and building a second structure on their second property.

It was my understanding initially that my in-laws may come to stay every now and then for doctors appointments. My husband is very supportive of his parents and says they will stay as long as they want/need - but WE are paying the mortgage and for all the renovations while they live there will all of their belongings, furniture, etc with no plans to move in the future at all.

We have sold our home and plan to move in the next month. I’m going to be essentially roommates with them. I’m not comfortable with the situation at all - especially because they are now dealing with multiple medical issues and if I ask what the plans are for them to move out I would seem heartless.

The other caveat being that my FIL drives my husbands vehicles regularly, two being brand new. It feels like my husband and his Dad are in more of an equal/ supportive partnership than I am with my husband.