How much more is it? It’s okay to stretch a little if you can afford it, but only if both of you agree. Will the higher price mean cutting out vacations, date nights, driving old cars? It’s no fun being house poor. However, moving stinks and if you can see yourselves in this house for many years, it might make sense to spend more for the house you really want.

Dh and I were in this position, with the roles switched. I’m financially conservative, he is less so. I wanted to spend less than we could technically afford and get a more modest house. His thought was that we were settling down in this area and wanted a home he could truly be proud of.

House hunting being what it is in the DC area, we expanded our budget and landed in a lovely bigger house. Now I’m quite grateful we’re here and think he was right to hold out for the nicer home.

That said, we can afford it and it was not a giant leap from where we were looking. This was a few years ago now, but we went up from essentially a $600k budget to a $750k budget. So around here, a nicer home on a quieter block, but not a huge difference from where we are.

I would think about what you want, and what you can truly afford to pay, and see if it might be reasonable to move up in house to what your wife wants.

Why would you look at a home outside of your range? I once bought a home that was not my first choice. I was being cheap and felt that I didn't want to be house poor. I could afford my first choice and should have bought it. It was a different market so I didn't have bidding wars. I never liked the house I did buy and was happy when I finally sold it and moved. Now I live in my dream home and will never sell.

Buy the home you can both want and can afford. If you can afford the house your wife wants I would buy it.

I think everyone faces some disappointments because no matter what your budget is, your dream home is almost always more expensive.

How much more?

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are searching for a SFH and she fell in love with one outside of what I originally wanted to spend. We toured it and it’s a very nice home, but more expensive and bigger than we need. My wife is understanding but definitely looked disappointed when I mentioned the price was much more than I prefer to spend. We can afford the home - I would just prefer not to spend that much. My friend told me to get her the house she wants, even if it’s more expensive. Do I buy her the home to make her happy?

Yea. Going a bit out of your comfort zone without crossing red or even yellow flags is perfectly fine. It would make moving homes even more special. That being said, make sure it’s just one time cost and there is no money pit like very high property tax, swimming pool to maintain, no big repair project etc. You don’t want to be house rich and cash poor.

Depends on what kinds of homes you are talking about. Town? Your budget versus her budget?

Absolutely not. If you're paying, buy what you want and don't spend more than you want to spend.

Don't ever go to look at homes you aren't prepared to buy. Don't spend half a million more just because your wife looked disappointed. Find out what she liked about it, and see if you can find those elements for less.

Yes

Also don’t tour homes if the cost is a dealbreaker.

If you can afford it, yes. If you cannot, no.

As someone who has bought 2 homes and have gotten my heart set on quite a few...gotten rejected from ones I imagined growing old in and what I've learned is that another one that I love will always come along. But meanwhile, just put in a subpar offer and let the market take care of the rest.

Her friend is telling her one thing, you two are discussing something else. You need to agree on budget and if the higher price will negatively affect you or be insurmountable. If its within your power, just buy it. A home is permanent. A few years of no house maids are not.

Yes

My wife and I are searching for a SFH and she fell in love with one outside of what I originally wanted to spend. We toured it and it’s a very nice home, but more expensive and bigger than we need. My wife is understanding but definitely looked disappointed when I mentioned the price was much more than I prefer to spend. We can afford the home - I would just prefer not to spend that much. My friend told me to get her the house she wants, even if it’s more expensive. Do I buy her the home to make her happy?