Anyone else thinking about the ILs with the bunkhouse sleeping space for everyone but them?

Done when I was a kid, can work well only if it is for a very short time and if each family has still accees to their own private space (a separate room etc)

It's relaxing in that there are many grandmas/aunties etc. who will happily entertain the toddler. But when we're on-duty I really hate parenting in front of other family members.

My kids liked being with their cousins (Jim Gaffigan has a bit about this), but my spouse and I do not. Specifically, there are certain family members we enjoy being around and others we do not. NOT NOT NOT.

6 family units under one roof with one kitchen? No. No matter how lovely everyone is, it's just a nightmare to feed and clean with so many people.

All inclusives and cruises are great for this. Each family has its own space, meet up for meals, and retreat to own rooms when needed.

We do family vacations at all-inclusive resorts. No cooking, cleaning, or resentment around that. Kids can roam in packs, relatively unsupervised, and still safe. It's kind of a doubletake to see the kids at the swim-up bars, enjoying their Shirley Temples. DD's favorite vacations are always these, and although we haven't done one since 2019, she still remembers them fondly.

Anonymous wrote:I don't enjoy this kind of vacation - too much planning, coordination, and logistics. I much prefer resort vacations where each family has their own rooms and can meet up (or not) for meals and activities around the resort.

Same here. I especially dislike them because the planning burden usually falls on me and that people would look to me to troubleshoot/monitor things during the trip. If it was my actual job, it would have been fine. But, it wasn't I resented being on the spot for everything. After doing it 3 times, I declined to do it anymore. At first, everyone asked about it but I (calmly) explained that I wasn't able to do the planning but would be happy to go if someone else planned it. Not surprising, no one took me up on it.

My DH’s side of the family used to do these every 2-3 years pre-pandemic. It’s also 6 family units (ILs plus their 5 kids and families). For me, it definitely falls into a “family reunion/trip” category, not a “fun relaxing vacation” category, and DH would agree as well. The kids loved hanging out with their cousins but it was definitely too much togetherness for the adults. We all contribute to the cost, so it’s not even like it’s a free vacation or anything. The family is all spread out so those were the only times the whole family would get together, so that’s why DH kept agreeing to do it.

I don't enjoy this kind of vacation - too much planning, coordination, and logistics. I much prefer resort vacations where each family has their own rooms and can meet up (or not) for meals and activities around the resort.

This falls under "family trip" rather than "vacation" but we do them because it's so good for the kid cousins who don't see each other all that often to get to spend lots of time together, and because they make the grandparents so happy (and they pay for better accommodations than what we could afford on our own).

The keys are agreeing that not all meals and activities will be together but knowing which will be all together out or at the house, and making sure that each couple gets their own room (the kids all bunk together in whatever the multiple-bunkbeds room is).

Anonymous wrote:We’ve done it in the Caribbean where we hire a chef for most meals and I think it’s worth doing. It’s not entirely stress-free but it makes a lot of memories and brings people closer.

Where in the Caribbean and can you recommend the chef?!

We’ve done it in the Caribbean where we hire a chef for most meals and I think it’s worth doing. It’s not entirely stress-free but it makes a lot of memories and brings people closer.

I have gone where everyone gets their own space in say, an apartment building. But we would be in and out of each other’s apartment, cook and eat together, etc. Truly I loved it but I love my in-laws and the trips meant a lot to DH, cousins,

My suggestion would be to make sure you have space to retreat to if needed and everyone needs a good solid quiet place to sleep.

We do and I find it relaxing. We get a BIG house where everyone has their own room. Kids share - but except babies, kids don’t share with parents. Grandparents pay and get a house that has a pool and is walkable to the beach. We get takeout for dinner most nights, so no conflicts about who is cooking. We are low key and don’t plan big outings with the whole group. We just chill, beach, and maybe some people take bike rides or play putt putt golf. Coordinating logistics with toddlers and elderly people in the mix is a a nightmare best avoided.

Does anyone who does these type of vacations — the big beach house with grandparents, siblings, cousins, etc — actually enjoy them and find them relaxing?

We were considering it pre-pandemic and never made it happen. Now there’s rumblings among the family of trying to make it happen this summer but between logistics and various personality conflicts — I’m feeling reluctant. This would potentially involve 6 different “family units”. Would it actually be a relaxing and rejuvenating vacation? I doubt it. But are we missing something that’s super fun despite the annoyances involved if we don’t do it?

Curious to hear experiences from those who’ve done it.