Ugh. Yes to all of this. Agree with your points minus the food. My DH grew up in a different (much poorer) country where low/middle class cooked their food from scratch and lots of beans and vegetables.

I’ll add, manners and social awareness are big differences too.

All of the lower MC/poor white trash drama that will pop up years later. Affairs, addictions, divorced, abuse. His dude of the family and his home town was rampant with it. He got out, went to a top university, looked and played the part when i met him, but at midlife resorted to the drinking and cheating and entitled BS he learned growing up. The woman he had the affair with was just as Jerry Springer and also wrapped in a package above her standing.

This post is stupid.

News flash: UMC families struggle with affairs, addictions, abuse, and divorce.

OP: The issue is not that he is LMC. It is that you think you are (much) better than he is simply because your parents had more money than his parents did.

Anonymous wrote:All of the lower MC/poor white trash drama that will pop up years later. Affairs, addictions, divorced, abuse. His dude of the family and his home town was rampant with it. He got out, went to a top university, looked and played the part when i met him, but at midlife resorted to the drinking and cheating and entitled BS he learned growing up. The woman he had the affair with was just as Jerry Springer and also wrapped in a package above her standing.

They learn drama in those environments and that’s what they associate love with.

haha. I feel like I'm on team husband here, being pretty cheap as a former LMC myself. But the biggest downside of marrying "up" is that the in laws will ALWAYS look down on me. They think their son should have married a good looking wife instead of an intelligent one. His stepmother carries a purse that cost something like $12K and I think she is a moron for it, and she doesn't understand why I carry a beat up canvas bag from TJ Maxx.

All of the lower MC/poor white trash drama that will pop up years later. Affairs, addictions, divorced, abuse. His dude of the family and his home town was rampant with it. He got out, went to a top university, looked and played the part when i met him, but at midlife resorted to the drinking and cheating and entitled BS he learned growing up. The woman he had the affair with was just as Jerry Springer and also wrapped in a package above her standing.

Pool your finances. Problem solved.

Anonymous wrote:If his exposure to upper class people is you, I understand the chip on his shoulder.

I agree.

You know what’s funny? I grew up lmc but quickly adopted umc as I worked my way up.

You’re spot on about your husband lmc tastes but some of us have always had umc tastes but didn’t have the money for it! Ha!

Growing up UMC is about paying attention to quality. Rather than make it combative, talk to him about paying for the quality. LMC makes one sensitive to waste and excess, learn from him about what not to spend a lot of money on. Work together...

WRT jeans and t-shirts, buy higher quality products - he keeps his "style" and you feel better about it.

My DH grew up MC/LMC. I grew up UMC. We met in medical school and have an UMC salary right now.
The biggest issue that we have is that he expects me to know all of these unspoken “rules” and help him to social climb. But if I wanted to do that, I wouldn’t have married him!

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I grew up poor. We now have a seven figure income.

We don’t think anything is expensive. We like to eat all types of food.

Dh wears t shirts when he is home and comfortable. What else would he wear? He wears a lot of sports t shirts, some college t shirts, free shirts from work, conferences, wherever. It would be odd if he wasn’t wearing a t shirt.

Do you believe you are actually contributing to this conversation or are you just self-centered and stupid?

I grew up super poor (welfare, food stamps, homeless) and eventually married someone who comes from a wealthy family.

It's worked out fine. I think they've been a bit shocked at some things I've said and my ethics, and solutions to problems, but overall they are very sweet and kind to me and my kids, and DH is in love with me.

Dh and I grew up poor. We now have a seven figure income.

We don’t think anything is expensive. We like to eat all types of food.

Dh wears t shirts when he is home and comfortable. What else would he wear? He wears a lot of sports t shirts, some college t shirts, free shirts from work, conferences, wherever. It would be odd if he wasn’t wearing a t shirt.

If his exposure to upper class people is you, I understand the chip on his shoulder.

What have been some downsides to marrying outside your social class?

I grew up UC/UMC and my dh grew up MC/LMC. There are some cultural differences that become annoying such as the following:

- He thinks everything is expensive and does not have reasonable ideas about cost and quality. He will always go for the cheapest thing
- Horrible taste in food. He will buy these frozen prepared foods from Wegmans and think it is healthy
- Dresses in graphic T-shirts and jeans and a baseball cap. ALL THE TIME!
- Has a chip on his shoulder about "rich people" and higher education