Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rephrase this in your head, OP- would YOU have gotten in today with the application you had 20 years ago? For most of us, the answer is no.

Exactly.

+2 The first page on this link explains it pretty well.

https://lesshighschoolstress.com/

Anonymous wrote:I was pissed when my kids didn't get into Sidwell, and stopped giving them money. For college I didn't take it personally and both kids ended up at great schools.

Understandable. If I donated to my prep school and my kid applied and didn’t get in, I’d be livid and stop donating. Because I don’t donate, I’d be fine with them being rejected. For my college, if my kids don’t get in I’d be pretty upset and probably stop donating too (maybe give a token $25), but my Alma matter has a 50-60% acceptance rate so my kids should probably be able to get in.

On the flip side of this, our two kids are going to our two alma maters, and we both feel a lot of pressure that they have as positive experiences and outcomes as we did. I do recognize that they were fortunate to get in where other equally qualified legacies (and non-legacies) didn't (we've also never donated a dime).

I wish my kids had the stats to go. And,no, unlikely I would’ve been able to get in now either.

Honestly, after my undergrad experience, I wasn't thrilled about my kids going to my alma mater (its the one that most DCUMers think is so awesome and we're so lucky that's its our in-state school!). I was just a number there.

I'm happy my kids went OOS and I could afford to do that for them.

It wasn't the rejection that I had the strongest reaction to - it was that the AO for the school told DC's high school college counselor that because both parents were alum, and DC had the academic credentials that DC would get in. Then guidance counselor relayed this message to DC. Since the admit rate for the school is now around 5% I tried to prepare DC for rejection, but was told by DC that the counselor knew more than I did, and I was just being a downer. When the rejection arrived all I could do was tell DC I was sorry it didn't work out, and that he was fortunate to have other options.

I was pissed when my kids didn't get into Sidwell, and stopped giving them money. For college I didn't take it personally and both kids ended up at great schools.

Anonymous wrote:What is your reaction? I'm annoyed more than I thought I would be. Not that I've ever been a huge donor, but believe me, they'll never see another dime from me.

Any other more rational thoughts?

This was my exact reaction when my older son didn't get in. He was more than fully qualified academically, but of course plenty of academically qualified people are rejected from schools like that. If my younger kid is also rejected - he's just as academically qualified and has a much better EC profile - I will be really pissed. I get it that this is the school's choice, but if they don't value my family, not sure why I should be valuing them.

Anonymous wrote:Rephrase this in your head, OP- would YOU have gotten in today with the application you had 20 years ago? For most of us, the answer is no.

Exactly.

It’s so much harder to get in these days! My kid applied but we know he won’t get in.

Rephrase this in your head, OP- would YOU have gotten in today with the application you had 20 years ago? For most of us, the answer is no.

My Senior didn’t even apply to my school, there’s no way they would have gotten in. My own fault for having dumb kids I guess.

Not bothered. It helps that DC wasn't too keen on it anyway, and is relieved it's off the table for discussion.

I'd expect it. Unless you are throwing them VERY LARGE amounts of money, legaices don't matter much and schools have gotten more competitive. A kid who does relavitely as well in school as their parents should expect that they are likely not to get in.

What is your reaction? I'm annoyed more than I thought I would be. Not that I've ever been a huge donor, but believe me, they'll never see another dime from me.

Any other more rational thoughts?