My brother and I are almost 7 years apart. Yes, I was a bit of a mother to him growing up but once we hit high school and college we became close friends.

My brother was 6 years older than me. I adored him, he protected me, and we squabbled and teased each other like many siblings do. With a six year gap, we were never at the same schools, and that worked well for both of us. We were not quite peers when I was a senior in high school, and started to be something closer to peers and friends after my first year in college.

I think lots of factors will determine whether siblings become friends. I think as a parent, you can work to foster mutually respectful, loving relationships within your family. Beyond that, it’s on them. With a significant age gap, they’re likely to have different interests and different developmental needs. It might be easier to develop actual friendship when the younger sibling is old enough that they can actually be true peers. If this is in addition to a respectful, loving sibling relationship, then that will be pretty wonderful.

Anonymous wrote:My 6 years older daughter isn’t really friends with her now-3 yr old baby brother. I don’t think a close friendship is realistic with this gap. They love each other, and she sores on him, but it’s certainly not the classic sibling relationship. If you ask my son if his sister is a kid or an adult he will readily say she’s an adult.

Anyway I hardly think that’s a bad thing.

When my DS2 was little, he was very aware that his older brother was much older and he resented it a bit, because deep in his heart he thought of himself as his brother's equal. When they were 8 and 3, DS2 went through a phase where if you asked him how old he would emphatically tell you that he was 8 and DC1 was 3, LOL.

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 5.5 years apart, by choice. Honestly, it's been great. DC1 was super excited to get a sibling, and never really lost that excitement--they've always been happy to have a sibling. DC1 did try to act like a parent at times throughout their childhood, but DC2 is very much their own person and from a very young age looked at DC1 as a peer--an older and (sometimes) wiser peer, but a peer nonetheless. They have always gotten on well together, with occasional spats, and now at 18.5 and 24 are quite good friends.

Me again: I also want to say that I've also enjoyed this spacing. I loved having one baby/toddler at a time--I feel like they both really got a lot of attention from DH and me. I like that DC2 got to do his teen years outside of DC1's shadow (as DC1 was off at college). I also really liked having them be at different stages. A rational, reasonable 8-year-old is a breath of fresh air after spending several hours with a tantrumming two-year-old. And a still-sweet and cuddly 10-year-old is a real psychic balm after having your umpteenth argument with a prickly teenager.

Anonymous wrote:Of all my siblings, I’m closest to the ones who are 4 and 8 years apart from me.

Actually with my 10 year age gap multiple people from large families told me their closest sibling was the one with a 9/10 year age gap.

Of all my siblings, I’m closest to the ones who are 4 and 8 years apart from me.

Anonymous wrote:My 6 years older daughter isn’t really friends with her now-3 yr old baby brother. I don’t think a close friendship is realistic with this gap. They love each other, and she sores on him, but it’s certainly not the classic sibling relationship. If you ask my son if his sister is a kid or an adult he will readily say she’s an adult.

Anyway I hardly think that’s a bad thing.

*dotes not sores.

My 6 years older daughter isn’t really friends with her now-3 yr old baby brother. I don’t think a close friendship is realistic with this gap. They love each other, and she sores on him, but it’s certainly not the classic sibling relationship. If you ask my son if his sister is a kid or an adult he will readily say she’s an adult.

Anyway I hardly think that’s a bad thing.

My kids are 5.5 years apart, by choice. Honestly, it's been great. DC1 was super excited to get a sibling, and never really lost that excitement--they've always been happy to have a sibling. DC1 did try to act like a parent at times throughout their childhood, but DC2 is very much their own person and from a very young age looked at DC1 as a peer--an older and (sometimes) wiser peer, but a peer nonetheless. They have always gotten on well together, with occasional spats, and now at 18.5 and 24 are quite good friends.

My spouse and their sibling have this age gap. While it is true that they were not especially close growing up, it is definitely a sibling (not niece/nephew) relationship and they are now pretty close as adults. they do have a very close knit family unit in general.

My son and daughter are almost exactly 5 years apart. They are closely bonded. There was never any fighting. We always brought little DD to her older brother's activities, and now he comes to her concerts. They support each other's endeavors. We have always been able to give each of them individual attention. It's been great.

my cousins are 6 years apart due to secondary infertility. They are definitely siblings, not a parent-child type relationship. Yes, they were in different life stages but growing up across town from them nothing about their relationship seemed weird to me at all. My younger cousin's birth was a joy to the entire family.

My kids are 10 years apart and love each other dearly. I don't have a concern with their future relationship.

My nieces are 5 years apart, due to infertility. The older one was not pleased ungodly to become a sister and now they're great together- 2 years of covid life together has helped the bond, as has the baby turning into a preschool aged playmate.

Because of secondary infertility, we're going to have a 6.5 year age gap. I'm so worried that they'll be like my half sister and me (13 years apart). She's more like my aunt than a sibling. My daughter is so, so excited to be a big sister but I'm nervous that the different life stages will prevent them from being close friends.