Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:36
Subject: Re:Having two kids *is* harder!
DP... I have an 8 month old and an almost 3 year old. It is getting better as the 8 month old is becoming more interactive and we are beginning to sync up the afternoon nap, but I think the hardest part is that you NEVER have a damn minute to yourself. With one kid you could easily ask your partner to watch the kid while you went out/ took a nap/ etc. But two on one with a rambunctious toddler and a newborn is ROUGH. I also think COVID makes it harder. I wish I could just take one of them to the grocery store or we could go to the aquarium, etc. The best time is family time at the park. We go as often as possible.
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:33
Subject: Re:Having two kids *is* harder!
Anonymous wrote:How could anyone doubt this? It's common sense.
Beware friends who tell you to have more kids because they had more and "it's really not a big deal." They are lying and they want you to have more kids so that they won't be the only ones. If you are considering having more kids and ask friends with more what it's like, they better start with "Well of course more kids means more expenses and more time pressure. But also..." They probably are happy with their choice but if they aren't willing to start by acknowledging that OF COURSE more kids is more work, they are sugarcoating and can't be trusted.
Also, people with multiple kids forget what it was like to only have one, or only had one for a short period (during which they were first time parents and may have felt overwhelmed anyway), so they often can't really compare. They think they've had both experiences but unless there was a big age gap, they probably haven't really. They only know more kids, not fewer.
Why would they lie? misery loves company?
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:32
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not that I ever doubted it. Just having a newborn and 4yo and balancing their needs and spending time with both is already quite hectic! Can imagine it will get even more so as baby grows up…
OP, down the road, they will keep each other occupied on occasion, which makes it easier.
Hang in there!
PP who said a 4 year age group is harder, and I agree. Pretty soon your older child will be able to read books to their younger sibling and it will just melt your heart!
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:32
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
I have two and it’s more than twice the work when they are little - but it’s tolerable if you know you are done having kids. Three seems to be a breaking point where parents just turn into zombies for a few years. The people I know with 3 seem so stressed and frazzled. Four for some reason looks easier than 3. I don’t know if people who have 4+ are just better suited to it, have given up and embraced chaos, or have just figured out systems that make it work.
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:30
Subject: Re:Having two kids *is* harder!
How could anyone doubt this? It's common sense.
Beware friends who tell you to have more kids because they had more and "it's really not a big deal." They are lying and they want you to have more kids so that they won't be the only ones. If you are considering having more kids and ask friends with more what it's like, they better start with "Well of course more kids means more expenses and more time pressure. But also..." They probably are happy with their choice but if they aren't willing to start by acknowledging that OF COURSE more kids is more work, they are sugarcoating and can't be trusted.
Also, people with multiple kids forget what it was like to only have one, or only had one for a short period (during which they were first time parents and may have felt overwhelmed anyway), so they often can't really compare. They think they've had both experiences but unless there was a big age gap, they probably haven't really. They only know more kids, not fewer.
Beware friends who tell you to have more kids because they had more and "it's really not a big deal." They are lying and they want you to have more kids so that they won't be the only ones. If you are considering having more kids and ask friends with more what it's like, they better start with "Well of course more kids means more expenses and more time pressure. But also..." They probably are happy with their choice but if they aren't willing to start by acknowledging that OF COURSE more kids is more work, they are sugarcoating and can't be trusted.
Also, people with multiple kids forget what it was like to only have one, or only had one for a short period (during which they were first time parents and may have felt overwhelmed anyway), so they often can't really compare. They think they've had both experiences but unless there was a big age gap, they probably haven't really. They only know more kids, not fewer.
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:29
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
Anonymous wrote:Not that I ever doubted it. Just having a newborn and 4yo and balancing their needs and spending time with both is already quite hectic! Can imagine it will get even more so as baby grows up…
OP, down the road, they will keep each other occupied on occasion, which makes it easier.
Hang in there!
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:27
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
Lol, I have 3!
And I agree, it was easier having a 2 year age gap. The second and third are 3.5 years apart and it's worse in a lot of ways.
If people ask for my advice I tell them to have as many kids as they want in rapid succession then be done with it.
And I agree, it was easier having a 2 year age gap. The second and third are 3.5 years apart and it's worse in a lot of ways.
If people ask for my advice I tell them to have as many kids as they want in rapid succession then be done with it.
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:26
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a 4 year age gap is really hard. A 2 year age gap is easier.
Having experienced both, I disagree.
How can you have two kids and experience both? Puzzled.
- dp
I have three
disqualifed then
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:25
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
It's twice as much work so why would you not think it would be more difficult? Now you can understand why nannies want $5 more an hour for another child.
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:25
Subject: Re:Having two kids *is* harder!
It gets easier as they age OP. I feel lucky that my 2 kids don't seem to need any other socialization in these Covid times (apart from school) as they seem content to play with each other after school, on weekends, etc.
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:22
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a 4 year age gap is really hard. A 2 year age gap is easier.
Having experienced both, I disagree.
How can you have two kids and experience both? Puzzled.
- dp
I have three
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:21
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think a 4 year age gap is really hard. A 2 year age gap is easier.
Having experienced both, I disagree.
How can you have two kids and experience both? Puzzled.
- dp
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:20
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
Anonymous wrote:I think a 4 year age gap is really hard. A 2 year age gap is easier.
Having experienced both, I disagree.
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:19
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
I think a 4 year age gap is really hard. A 2 year age gap is easier.
Anonymous
01/20/2022 12:05
Subject: Having two kids *is* harder!
Not that I ever doubted it. Just having a newborn and 4yo and balancing their needs and spending time with both is already quite hectic! Can imagine it will get even more so as baby grows up…