Just wanted to offer sympathy. I have an underweight teen athlete who wants to gain weight but who is rarely hungry and gets full after he eats a little bit. Then I’ve got DH and I who are overweight and trying to lose. DH also can’t have anything really tasty around or he’ll binge. So I have to find a few things that my son will eat that are super palatable and super high calorie but that my husband can resist. So far that is one flavor of ice cream, snickers bars, and a weight gain shake. It’s hard enough being responsible for my own weight…but being responsible for two other peoples as well wears me out!

Unless you’re making total crap food, he has to be the one to take this on.

You could help him with his self esteem though. Low self-esteem often leads to over eating, so if he doesn’t maintain his self esteem he might spiral. I would do things like encourage him to big clothes that actually fit well and feel good.

Everyone in your family needs the same foods (vegetables, fats, proteins, whole grains) just in different ratios.

I sometimes have two versions of things (the most obvious example being whole milk for my scrawny children, and skim or 1% lactose-free for me). But it's hard. Sometimes the kids get pizza and I get salad. And that's okay. I'm just making sure everyone's needs are met.

We tend to eat a big salad and/or roasted veggies every night. I often will eat 4/5ths veggie and sprinkle with cheese or something, and DH and DS will have meat and more carbs (potatoes, pasta, whatever).

You could always have an extra component available for the weight gainers, like a cup of chili, or bread and butter, half a PJ sandwich, full fat yogurt with fruit and nuts, etc. Maybe a big pile of peas with lots of butter?

OR

You could always have an extra component available for the weight watcher, like a container of crudités, or maybe he starts with a cup of vegetable soup before eating the rest of his meal.


I'm trying to gain weight and eat more vegetables, compared to DH who is picky but also trying to lose weight. I often chop up some extra vegetables and drizzle extra olive oil on my/my growing child's food.That way we get the nutrients and calories we need while DH can eat what he wants without having to pick stuff off.

Make meals with caloric substitutes. For example, make pasta with regular pasta for the teens and the elderly family member. Make spaghetti squash for your husband, so same sauce, different bases.

Make a stir fry and use rice for the rest of the family, but cauliflower rice for your husband.

Make grilled sandwiches, but use cheese or cauliflower toast for your husband instead of bread.

I often make chili for the family and they love corn bread and rice with chili. I get some corn chips and then I can regulate myself with a small portion of corn chips instead of a whole piece of corn bread. You could also substitute pita chips which are lower in calorie.

Look for ways to have starches on the side and to find substitutes for the starch for your husband. That seems to work best for us.

Definitely sauces on the side, lots of veggies. Losing weight people can have small servings of meat and carbs and plenty of veggies. Gaining weight people can eat whatever. For snacking, have good fat snacks for gaining weight like avocado and nuts. Cut up fruits and veggies for losing weight. Avoid cheesy carby meals like Mac n cheese. Make sure people can control their own amount of cheese and oil etc.

The “lose weight crowd” eat meat and lots of veggies.

The “gain weight crowd” eats lots of meat and lots of carbs with butter and olive oil.

I assume everybody eats separately for breakfast and lunch.

The gain weight crowd eats whole cheese , the LWC no cheese.
The GWC eats ice cream, the LWC eat fruit.

Try dinners with some "build your own" component -- I make tacos and the teens load them up with meat and cheese, but I stick to some beans and veggies.
I try to always have salad, and my DH and I will put the protein of the meal on the salad, and I make something else for the kids to have as an additional side like mac & cheese.

My tween, teen and husband are capable of inhaling huge amounts of food.

Every time I merely glance at a carb, I gain weight.

SIGH.

I'm sorry, I have no solutions apart from the one I try to implement (with little success as yet): separate the carbs from the rest of the meal and keep rich sauces separate. That way the slender people can assemble their meal however they want, and the pudgy people can select the veggies and protein without sauce. I used to make a lot of one-pot dishes, but I try to limit them now.

Give everyone healthy food (like fish and chicken), fruits and vegetables. People can vary by how much they eat. Outside the home, others can eat treats when they are out (like pizza or fries).

Also, if you make smoothies, put eggs and different milk in the smoothies of those trying to gain weight.

My teens can eat an entire meal 10 minutes before I serve dinner and still finish everything. So you could add healthy satisfying snack meals to the teens after school and have your regular family dinner with DH. For the older family member I’d add Ensure or something as an extra meal earlier in the day.

Seems like the easiest approach is just to pay attention to portion size. I’m a middle aged woman trying not to gain and I eat the same dinner every night as my slender athletic DH and teens. My serving is half the size of DH’s and probably 1/5 the size of my sons’. I also often give them the options of extra toppings. So if we are having stir fry, I’ll put a bowl of roasted peanuts on their end of the table for extra protein, and I always put lots of cheese out for them if we are having pasta or any meal that benefits from cheese.

How do you plan your meals?

DH has recently started on a medication that causes significant weight gain, and the weight gain is bothering him. He's asked for my help figuring out a plan, since I'm the primary cook, and the meal planner for the family. But we've also got 2 athletic adolescent boys who need a ton of calories, and an elderly family member who struggles to keep their weight up.

The ritual of sharing food is really important to us, so I'd rather avoid solutions that involve feeding people entirely different meals.