I’m 49 and no need to color; very few grays but I’m a natural ginger so whatever whited or grays I do have just seem to just blend enough with the blondish stands. My mother is 76 and colors. She’s auburn by nature but has always gone more strawberry blonde. In the last few years she’s going darker back to auburn shades and it ages her. I think it would look better if she just let it transition to whatever nature intended.

We have a large alumni prep school group on Facebook and I’ve noticed a few women going gray as they enter their 60s. They do look older with gray/white hair but still keep up their looks otherwise. I can see myself going lighter brown eventually but i don’t like how I feel with gray hair. I’ve been coloring my hair since my 20s and I’m not tired of it yet.

OP here. I am insanely jealous of 40 year olds with no gray hair. I would be as gray as Queen Elizabeth if I didn't color. I do a light brown with blond highlights and I think it looks very nice, but its pricey and time consuming (even though I go to an "affordable" place - its still $100 every 6 weeks.)

If I were all gray at a young age, I would probably just accept it and get some silver highlights and clothes to accentuate it. I think younger people (40s) can pull off this look.

I'm almost 50 and about 10-15% gray. I get highlights on my brown hair to cover them. I haven't decided what I will do when the highlights no longer cover them.

I might color stop coloring when the jowls on my face sag so much I know I won't be fooling anyone.

Depends on a woman. I am 40 and have 0 grey. My grandma started to get grey into her 70, by the age of 80+ she stopped coloring her hair.

My mom is 79 and she stills colors her hair because she looks better with her hair colored. When she does not color her hair she looks sick and really pathetic old woman.

I think I will continue to color my hair because I like how I look, and my family also sees me as more alive. My kids and husband would hate to see me like a very old woman.

I think coloring it shoe-polish black after a certain age is pretty silly, but if it makes the wearer feel better, more power to her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. It really depends on how you wear it. I know youthful thin 40 year olds who have a gray-blonde mix or dark hair with a gray streak, and they look amazing. But for most us, I think it not "acceptable" under 50.

2. If she's retired, it's more normal to go gray. There are real perception issues at work that would prevent me from going gray until then. My mom is in her 70s and still dyes it though, and I think she looks okay.

Only thin women can have gray hair? Jeez

OP didn't ask about "can" she asked about socially acceptable. So yes, weight plays a role, as does bone structure and haircut and a lot of other things. I'm chubby with flyaway curly hair: gray hair looks different on me than on my friend who is thin and has smooth straight hair.

People "can" do whatever they want, of course. But how you look is how you're treated, especially at work.

I’m 50 and completely gray; I used the pandemic for the messy transition. (Involved going overall lighter first, etc).

My hair is more white than gray, I would say. It’s definitely aging in the sense that I don’t “look 50”; one could argue that the problem is many 50 year olds color their hair, so what does 50 *really* look like? But I’m not delusional- I don’t look like what society thinks when they think 50.

I don’t care that I appear older than I am. No, I have not given up (which is the inevitable comment on these threads). I’m physically fit, healthy, wear makeup, don’t dress like a slob (well, not in public). I’m just tired of coloring my hair every three weeks.

I interviewed for and got a job with my gray hair, so I have no concerns there. (Nobody in my field would care anyway, so no insight there.)

Anonymous wrote:
1. It really depends on how you wear it. I know youthful thin 40 year olds who have a gray-blonde mix or dark hair with a gray streak, and they look amazing. But for most us, I think it not "acceptable" under 50.

2. If she's retired, it's more normal to go gray. There are real perception issues at work that would prevent me from going gray until then. My mom is in her 70s and still dyes it though, and I think she looks okay.

Only thin women can have gray hair? Jeez

There are no rules. People should do what they want to.

Anonymous wrote:1. At what age do you think its socially acceptable in US metropolitan areas/suburbs to allow ones hair to become gray?

2. At what age do you think its strange for a woman to NOT wear her hair gray?


My answers:

1. This is the one I'm really curious about. I've had to color my gray so long (since 30) that at 42 I'm already over it. I realize some women my age are just getting started. I'm thinking I will definitely wait until my youngest finishes college (I'll be 53) and maybe I'll wait until 60? If it were socially acceptable and in the mainstream I would do it now.

2. I definitely think by upper 60's/70 it looks weird to NOT have gray hair. I think Pelosi and Feinstein look ridiculous with super dark brown hair.

If you take care of your hair, I think it's fine to let yourself go gray whenever it happens. Gray doesn't automatically mean old, and it would mean it even less if people who went gray early just embraced it. Gray can look stunning. The difference is being proud of your appearance and doing things to make yourself look your best. If you feel like you look your best with color, then do that. But that doesn't mean you can't look your best with gray.

1. It really depends on how you wear it. I know youthful thin 40 year olds who have a gray-blonde mix or dark hair with a gray streak, and they look amazing. But for most us, I think it not "acceptable" under 50.

2. If she's retired, it's more normal to go gray. There are real perception issues at work that would prevent me from going gray until then. My mom is in her 70s and still dyes it though, and I think she looks okay.

I’m in my early 50s, and I just started to need it. I did it once or twice, and have decided this isn’t for me. I know a lot of women who don’t.

1. At what age do you think its socially acceptable in US metropolitan areas/suburbs to allow ones hair to become gray?

2. At what age do you think its strange for a woman to NOT wear her hair gray?


My answers:

1. This is the one I'm really curious about. I've had to color my gray so long (since 30) that at 42 I'm already over it. I realize some women my age are just getting started. I'm thinking I will definitely wait until my youngest finishes college (I'll be 53) and maybe I'll wait until 60? If it were socially acceptable and in the mainstream I would do it now.

2. I definitely think by upper 60's/70 it looks weird to NOT have gray hair. I think Pelosi and Feinstein look ridiculous with super dark brown hair.