Anonymous wrote:Being connected has nothing to do with distance. Get this out of your head Op.

This. My sister lives 600 miles away by all daily and are very close. My mom lives 500 miles away. Never calls and I only see her out of obligation.

This is the natural progression of parents being obsessed with prestige and career. Only the best college, only the best career, only the most impressive travel, etc. -- no matter how far away any of it is. It looks great on social media, but it sure leaves a big whole in reality. And, just when you get used to the kids being away, the grandkids arrive and you barely even get to know them.

You reap what you sew.

Anonymous wrote:I hope my children live close to me, but I won’t worry if they live far away. I’m close with both my son and daughter and talk on the phone or text several times a week at least and see each other a few times a month at least (they’re local). If they move far away, we are fortunate enough to afford airfare to see them frequently. I am close with my parents who live very far away, but are not close at all to in-laws who live less than 1/2 hour away.

The problem comes when you can't travel but at that point you can move to be near one of them.

I hope my children live close to me, but I won’t worry if they live far away. I’m close with both my son and daughter and talk on the phone or text several times a week at least and see each other a few times a month at least (they’re local). If they move far away, we are fortunate enough to afford airfare to see them frequently. I am close with my parents who live very far away, but are not close at all to in-laws who live less than 1/2 hour away.

See the one 200 miles away only a few times a year. Wish it were a lot more, but distance makes it so much harder. Can't just drop in now and them for a few minutes.

Two adult children, recent college graduates. One lives 10 mins away. We text several times a week, visit every week or two. Another lives 200 miles away. We text several times weekly, talk on the phone (I initiate) about once every two weeks.
I'm happy they are independent, but wish we saw them more often. They are establishing their careers and lives. Separating from adult children is really, really hard, but your relationship has to change. Have twins about to graduate from high school, so I think it will be worse when my nest is empty. I'd like them to all live nearby, but that happens infrequently nowadays with spouses, careers pulling in other directions. But you can remain close even if far away. Technology has made that easier.

One adult kid overseas. We see this one once a year. This one sends photos and texts via WhatsApp daily. This one likes sending email and sends 3-4 emails a month. We talk on the phone on WhatsApp every 2-3 weeks for about 90 minutes.

One adult kid 400 miles away. This one texts when some information is needed by them and I have the needed info. No calls unless I initiate.

One 2000 miles away. Daily FaceTime initiated by this one. Texts several times a day. Sends photos every day. No email.

I follow their lead and meet them where they are. They are individually and all different. I aim for a nonjudgmental, non-rescue, loving approach to this adult stage.

I have one kid who lives about 800 miles away. We text or talk regularly, probably average about once a week, often more.

I have another kid who lives about 130 miles away, we talk everyday, sometimes for ten minutes, other times for an hour or two.

I see the second one every week or two, I see the first one three or four times a year.

I feel very close to both of them and always have. I am in my late 60s, they are in their 40s.

I have one kid who lives overseas (London). We see her about twice a year. I have three kids who live about 800 miles away. We see them 3-4 times a year. I have one kid that lives about an hour away. We see him maybe once a month. All five call/FaceTime/text almost daily.

We are very close to all the kids and they are close to each other. They work together to try to all be home at the sane time whenever possible. That’s always so much fun.

I’m proud of my kids for the independent, self-sufficient young adults they have become. I’m glad they didn’t move back home after college. The world is a big place. I want them to live in places that make them happy. But, I do miss them like crazy.

My father moved across the world to live with my mother and hardly ever called his parents, as phone calls were expensive. We visited his country once every 5 years.

I moved across the world to live with my husband, and thanks to cheaper technology, I can call whenever I want, but we've settled into a Sunday 11am Facetime, so that they can talk to their grandkids and chat with my husband as well.

We alternate visits to each other's homes on average once a year. During the pandemic, we've done the traveling.

Anonymous wrote:Being connected has nothing to do with distance. Get this out of your head Op.

Disagree.

Being connected has nothing to do with distance. Get this out of your head Op.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an adult child who has lived 500 miles from my parents for my entire adult life.

I adore my parents, talk to them once a week on the phone (2-3 times a week when my kids were young), visit them several times a year, including a week at Christmas and a week in the summer, and feel very close to them.

Me again, I should add that I do wish I lived closer and I would prefer that my own kids not live so far away when they are adults. But this is not becauseI don't feel emotionally close to my parents but rather because I wish I could spend more time with them.

I'm an adult child who has lived 500 miles from my parents for my entire adult life.

I adore my parents, talk to them once a week on the phone (2-3 times a week when my kids were young), visit them several times a year, including a week at Christmas and a week in the summer, and feel very close to them.

And have so for quite some time, how would you describe your relationship with them? How often do you see each other and do you talk often? What if you don't, not because you are estranged or any personal reason, but that they live so far away and your lives are not as connected, is it weird or is this supposed to be how it is?