Kids learn they can behave like this because parents like you don't care. This time it may not have been your daughters fault but next time it might be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^just saw that your daughter isn’t even friend A. I have no idea then. Unless telling this to girl B was done really maliciously and purposely to hurt her feelings. In which case , yeah, that’s pretty awful

Sorry, I thought I mentioned in my OP that DD wasn’t A or B. It’s been a long week! Thanks for sticking with me!

According to DD, A was trying to get the group to “kick out” B, but they didn’t want to do that, but also didn’t want to keep what A said a secret, or “gossip” as DD put it. They didn’t want to hide it from their friend, so they told her what A said, and that she was safe with the group.

Great. Now hear what the teacher has to say and go from there.

Anonymous wrote:^^just saw that your daughter isn’t even friend A. I have no idea then. Unless telling this to girl B was done really maliciously and purposely to hurt her feelings. In which case , yeah, that’s pretty awful

Sorry, I thought I mentioned in my OP that DD wasn’t A or B. It’s been a long week! Thanks for sticking with me!

According to DD, A was trying to get the group to “kick out” B, but they didn’t want to do that, but also didn’t want to keep what A said a secret, or “gossip” as DD put it. They didn’t want to hide it from their friend, so they told her what A said, and that she was safe with the group.

I think you should give the teacher the courtesy of listening to her side of the story before you decide it's something you don't care about, or not malicious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter A or in C-H?

She’s C-H

You should be concerned about your daughter's friendship with A who seems like a real shit stirrer. Luckily the other girls weren't having it and did the right thing with friend B.

No they didn’t! They told friend B that friend A was talking trash about her, in a way that made her cry in front of the class. THATS shit stirring.

But A was talking trash.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter A or in C-H?

She’s C-H

You should be concerned about your daughter's friendship with A who seems like a real shit stirrer. Luckily the other girls weren't having it and did the right thing with friend B.

No they didn’t! They told friend B that friend A was talking trash about her, in a way that made her cry in front of the class. THATS shit stirring.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter A or in C-H?

She’s C-H

You should be concerned about your daughter's friendship with A who seems like a real shit stirrer. Luckily the other girls weren't having it and did the right thing with friend B.

^^just saw that your daughter isn’t even friend A. I have no idea then. Unless telling this to girl B was done really maliciously and purposely to hurt her feelings. In which case , yeah, that’s pretty awful

Anonymous wrote:Yeah that sounds like your daughter tried to be a mean girl/ queen bee/ whatever, and her friends were like, no.

Her friends also clearly wanted some drama since they told girl B the whole thing though.

Sounds like they’re all pretty catty. As in, normal 5th grade girls! This sounds mean, and normal , and it sounds like your daughter probably learned her lesson, so I would let the teacher lead the conversation- see exactly what she thinks the issue is. Sounds like the kids handled it.

My daughter wasn’t A.

Yeah that sounds like your daughter tried to be a mean girl/ queen bee/ whatever, and her friends were like, no.

Her friends also clearly wanted some drama since they told girl B the whole thing though.

Sounds like they’re all pretty catty. As in, normal 5th grade girls! This sounds mean, and normal , and it sounds like your daughter probably learned her lesson, so I would let the teacher lead the conversation- see exactly what she thinks the issue is. Sounds like the kids handled it.

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter A or in C-H?

She’s C-H

You need to call back the teacher and give consequences to your child depending on what the teacher says.

Is your daughter A or in C-H?

Reach out - there may be more / a pattern that she is seeing

Got a voicemail, teacher calling to tell me DD11/5th is in the middle of girl drama. Girl Group consists of Girls A-H, Girl A told C-H that she no longer likes Girl B, doesn’t want to be friends anymore. Group “didn’t want to keep the secrets as gossip and/or still wanted to include B in friend group” and told B, who started crying in front of teacher. (The quoted is my DD version. Basically they didn’t want to exclude B and thought she should know what A said.)

Teacher wants me to call back when I can do we can discuss. I think it sounds like it was handled just fine. The group as a whole stood up for B, though hurt her feelings in the process. Nothing about this feels malicious. But how should I best word this to teacher without sounding nonchalant or like I don’t care (I really don’t care in this instance, seems like a normal social learning situation.)