Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how to understand cutting: the cutting is not the underlying problem. It is relief from the underlying problem. Focusing the mind and attention on physical pain provides momentary distraction and relief from intense, overwhelming and unrelenting psychic pain that is ongoing. Focus on addressing the underlying pain, the physical self-harm is the smaller problem compared to people who cannot stop their own lacerating thoughts.

PS I’m a physician and every single patient I’ve had who does this endorses this perspective on it.

Agree. Another thing to keep in mind, as our DD's therapist once told us: while cutting/self-harm is an awful thing and can be real scary looking, when it comes to potential long term physical harm there are much worse things that adolescent girls (typically girls) can do. Eating disorders, drug abuse, etc. So, please, don't overreact.

Well she should be encouraged to be more appreciative of and a better custodian of her perfectly beautiful, healthy body, and not harm or desecrate it by cutting it. She can love her body enough not to hurt it, even if she doesn’t love her self. Encourage her to see it as something she has been entrusted to care for (which is true).

The mental anguish though is less visible and needs to be addressed. IME this is almost always caused by some kind of deficit in early love, even if unintentional, and is cured through love. But it is very very hard to find the right corrective experiences. Outpatient therapy as a model in general is not set up well—it is better tailored to the doctor than the patient— it is like trying to wash your hands in a dripping faucet. It’s more helpful if there is some real relationship that helps her feel more loved and worthwhile.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how to understand cutting: the cutting is not the underlying problem. It is relief from the underlying problem. Focusing the mind and attention on physical pain provides momentary distraction and relief from intense, overwhelming and unrelenting psychic pain that is ongoing. Focus on addressing the underlying pain, the physical self-harm is the smaller problem compared to people who cannot stop their own lacerating thoughts.

PS I’m a physician and every single patient I’ve had who does this endorses this perspective on it.

Agree. Another thing to keep in mind, as our DD's therapist once told us: while cutting/self-harm is an awful thing and can be real scary looking, when it comes to potential long term physical harm there are much worse things that adolescent girls (typically girls) can do. Eating disorders, drug abuse, etc. So, please, don't overreact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is how to understand cutting: the cutting is not the underlying problem. It is relief from the underlying problem. Focusing the mind and attention on physical pain provides momentary distraction and relief from intense, overwhelming and unrelenting psychic pain that is ongoing. Focus on addressing the underlying pain, the physical self-harm is the smaller problem compared to people who cannot stop their own lacerating thoughts.

PS I’m a physician and every single patient I’ve had who does this endorses this perspective on it.

Anonymous wrote:Here is how to understand cutting: the cutting is not the underlying problem. It is relief from the underlying problem. Focusing the mind and attention on physical pain provides momentary distraction and relief from intense, overwhelming and unrelenting psychic pain that is ongoing. Focus on addressing the underlying pain, the physical self-harm is the smaller problem compared to people who cannot stop their own lacerating thoughts.

Anonymous wrote:Looking for expertise with cutting. We are located in NW DC. Thanks.