OP here. He’s now outside finishing it up. Must be the internet being turned off (phone is an android with parental controls and a time limit that as already used up).

I’m getting the desired result but I hate the way I got it done. Why can’t he just be helpful? Or just do it when I ask him to do it?

Anonymous wrote:My kids are college aged and beyond. There is no way any of them would have dared refuse to do something I asked them to do. The very thought is laughable. Why does your 16 year old believe he can refuse to shovel snow? I can’t wrap my head around this.

Same. OP, does your 16 year old plan on driving the car? In my household the answer would be "NOPE" for a while. If you don't help with general household chores, then you don't get the privilege of using general household items like the family car. Seems to me like there is a direct correlation between shoveling the driveway and driving the car ...

Anonymous wrote:take the phone too

+1

We have peace in our house because the Wi-Fi that the gaming system relies upon is not turned on until all requests and chores for the day are completed. The requests are reasonable and non negotiable.

I hope he’s not expecting to drive anytime in the next months

Yeah, can't imagine my 16 year old just saying no to me if I asked him to shovel.

I wouldn't feed him either. I mean hopefully he can provide for himself, but I wouldn't give him a stitch of support/assistance. PP was right, he didn't just turn into this, but he's old enough to understand this in all ways. I have a much more helpful natured child than the other, but when they are old enough, they both will be doing all the shoveling. Only 5 and 8 now, and I have them shovel what they want as long as it doesn't mess me up.

take the phone too

My 46 yo DH doesn’t shovel either. I just paid a neighbor’s kid to do it.

My teen son isn't muscular or athletic, and if we had a long driveway, I'd buy a snowblower. As it is, he's off shoveling a neighbor's house, and I didn't even tell him she'd pay him for his pains. It's all small houses and short walks down here, so he can't really grumble (he tried to, but I gave him that look).

And be careful out there. Heart attacks may not be a risk for the younger set, but they most definitely are a risk for all adults who shovel snow in the winter. Our hospitals are under enough strain as it is - you don't want to get subpar care.

My kids are college aged and beyond. There is no way any of them would have dared refuse to do something I asked them to do. The very thought is laughable. Why does your 16 year old believe he can refuse to shovel snow? I can’t wrap my head around this.

Anonymous wrote:This problem was years in the making. When my kids were toddlers they'd 'help' me shovel. Now they're 10 and 12 and they do most of the work

yep. But, I hear ya, OP. Sometimes, teens turn into selfish,entitled jersk, when younger, they were sweet and helpful.

You did the right thing by turning off the internet. My kids gave me a bit of attitude when I told them to go help shovel the snow, but they did it because they know I will absolutely turn off their internet. But, they also expected that they would have to do it because they do every time it snows.

Ok?

This problem was years in the making. When my kids were toddlers they'd 'help' me shovel. Now they're 10 and 12 and they do most of the work

We have a very long driveway. He saw me do the difficult part which is breaking up and loving the buildup from the snow ploughs. Refusing to help finish it up although he did play outside eaelier. I have turned off the internet snd hid the tv remote. I’m so sick of his unhelpful nature.