Just leave kids home if you can. They don't remember any trips at that age.

Op, it sounds like you are confusing being a ‘mom’ on a vacation with wanting to go on a romantic getaway with just your hubby.

I took my 3 to Beaches in Jamaica when they were 6, almost 4 and almost 2, and it was actually relaxing and wonderful. Food was better than I expected and kids loved it. DH ended up having to work most of the time so it was just me and kids for much of it, but we had a blast and I was actually relaxed.

Low expectations. Lower. A little lower. There you go.

I found renting villas with pools in the Bahamas and USVI most relaxing. Like PP, we tend to hit the beach/hike in the mornings then hang out at the pool after naps. Easy food can be prepped at home or you can go out to eat. Having a whole house with bedrooms for kids made the difference for me when my kids were under 8.

As kids got bigger, we've done Disney, skiing, national parks, U.S. historical trips, and abroad (Maldives, Bali, safari), but when they're small I think low key nearby vacations are the only relaxing option...

Low expectations, extra set of hands (grandparents, if helpful; nanny if you can afford).
You seem to have already traveled a lot, think back to what days felt easier. For us, for example, with our three under 5 kids some combo of am playground, rest in the car on the way to an activity, afternoon rest, and a quiet evening work best. Every family is different. oh yeah, and we relax all rules on vacation.

Anonymous wrote:I was going to recommend Lancaster County, but then I saw the list of places you’ve already taken them and I think your expectations are too high. They’re kids, they aren’t going to bend to your wants and needs yet, nor will they appreciate the travel you’re providing them.

Ha, same. Lancaster County is our go-to. We find new places to go along with old favorites, and my kids love it, but my vacation expectations may be different from OP's.

Why did these feel like trips and not vacations? The only relaxing vacations we had were when we went to the carribean and my parents came and watched the kids and let us go to dinner and we had an extra adult to hang at the room during naps etc. we have taken other trips and enjoyed them but to be relaxing adults need a break from the kids.

Anonymous wrote:There are no vacations with children, only trips. Sorry!

This is just so negative and untrue IMO.

I had a great vacation to San Diego with my 2 and 5 year old, and am finishing up a fantastic Europe trip with my 3 and 6 year old. Screens in the car, building in quiet time at home, and keeping expectations low (particularly WRT sightseeing) are key.

I was going to recommend Lancaster County, but then I saw the list of places you’ve already taken them and I think your expectations are too high. They’re kids, they aren’t going to bend to your wants and needs yet, nor will they appreciate the travel you’re providing them.

Anonymous wrote:Any resort that has childcare.

+1 or a cruise which has kids club

We camp or rent a beach house and then keep expectations and activities low key. Hikes, the beach in the morning and late afternoon when it’s cooler, going to the playground, swimming, etc. I find being in the outdoors super relaxing, and that relaxation adds the vacation feel when what you’re really doing is moving all the kid work you normally do to another location. So you need to find whatever type of vacation adds relaxation for you at a higher rate than the stress of traveling with kids. That might be staying home until they’re older.

My sister used to visit cities with interesting outdoor things to see and wander with few planned activities when her kids were young. I remember her going to Boston and Chicago specifically. That wouldn’t work for me but it did her, but she hates nature and loves architecture. I do remember that while she didn’t use a stroller after the kids were toddlers she did when they travelled because they’d get tired walking. So maybe give into the kids more when you’re away than you would at home - screens, snacks, strollers, etc.

There are no vacations with children, only trips. Sorry!

Any resort that has childcare.

I need ideas. We have done Disney (Land and World), Hawaii, Costa Rica, Utah, Arizona, SF/Carmel, San Diego, Nantucket + Boston, New Mexico, Hill Country Texas, Idaho, Washington state, Vancouver. Need some ideas! Most feel like a trip and not a vacation. Maybe my expectations are too high!