Who do you think The Lost Daughter is?

Sometimes movies/stories only lead us to a place and then leave us there with our own thoughts.

From a NYT review:

"It is, instead, a dark and deeply disturbing exploration of something much more raw, and even radical: the notion that motherhood can plunder the self in irreparable ways."

As much as I like Olivia Colman, I just couldn’t watch beyond the first half an hour.

It’s a strange and difficult movie to watch. When I finished it my feeling was a relief. I’m glad it’s over.

It’s bizarre. I can’t explain the doll stealing, dizzy spells, strange behavior with caretaker.

Olivia Coleman us always good but yes, I am struggling with this one a bit. I don’t really think if it as a contemplation on motherhood, but rather on the more specific experience of having children young, before you are quite formed as a person, and how restricting that is for women in particular because of how unequally the burden of raising young kids falls on women. But I struggled to relate to either of the mothers in the film because their behavior felt unconscionably selfish to me, as someone who was in my late 30s by the time I had a child. I simply cannot imagine leaving my children for years to pursue career advancement or an affair. I can’t imagine resenting my children the way these women sometimes do (even as they also obviously live them intensely). Those parts were hard to watch, especially because they made me think of my own mother, who I do think felt that way about being a mom.

It also was hard how the movie obscures the men in order to focus on the women, because it’s confusing. Leda’s husband seems immature and selfish at first, but then he becomes a single father when she runs off. Nina’s husband is one dimensional, as are bothersome women’s affair partners. I think this was a lost opportunity because none of this nuance around feelings around motherhood happens independent of the actions, inactions, or expectations of fathers.

Still worth watching but I felt unsatisfied.

I agree with all of these comments. The ending also seemed anti-climatic to me - after the threat from Nina and nearly killing herself driving, then passing out on the beach, she ends up just having a nice chat with her oldest daughter.

I took the continued glaring at her from the men as them not really getting past it. The sister's offer of cake was passive-aggressive.

My kids are all young adults, but even now I could relate to her frustration with trying to have her own life/own work while caring for her daughters.

I watched it yesterday. It was portrayed as a thriller type movie with plot twists. In that sense it was disappointing. No twists and not really an exciting movie. It was good if you just want validation that parenting and being your own person is hard. Not sure what was up with “ feeling faint” that was never explained. ( I didn’t read the book)

I also have some VERY mixed feelings. This was marketed as a meditation on motherhood and conflicting feelings around it when you are also trying to carve out/keep something for yourself.

Obviously, on the motherhood front it was a lot more than that, but I wasn't expecting the creepy Mafia subplot. I actually felt like I identified the most with the scene in the movie theater where she's so frustrated at the boys who won't just be decent that she starts crying.

I found Olivia Colman's character deeply unpleasant and the casting of Dakota Johnson completely head-scratching.

More Will/Connell please.

Is it implied that she is dying?

Anonymous wrote:Remember this is from Leda's point of view.

Lyle is the one that saw them looking at her and told her she should leave.

Remember this is from Leda's point of view.

Anonymous wrote:Leda wouldn't give up her space on the beach. She seems like a busy body old lady who will get into their (mafia) business.

No not that. They made amends after that, Toni even apologized and she later came and offered Leda cake. The they became friendly after Leda found the daughter. I wonder if they suspected she had the doll but Nina was genuinely surprised when Leda admitted it. Why were the men in the family so mama towards Leda? I’m so confused by this.

Leda wouldn't give up her space on the beach. She seems like a busy body old lady who will get into their (mafia) business.

Following. Have the same question

I am having mixed feelings about this movie. Admittedly, I didn’t read the book. I’m assuming the book went deeper into the dynamics of the tension between Nina’s family and Leda. Can anyone help explain why her family was always glaring at Leda. Why did Lyle tell Leda it was time for her to go home when they were dancing outside and Toni and crew were looking at her?