Anonymous wrote:They may not have a husband. If they do have one he's little more than a sperm donor in their eyes.

But you can bet she used all the same criteria to pick that anonymous sperm as she would a real life man. Height, eye color, race, college educated. Probably too many insecurities to engage in a real relationship.

As the consensus view on DCUM Relationships is that husbands are awful, lazy, stupid, and incompetent, and there's no reason any woman would ever get married, these women on Twitter can hardly be expected to mention such a distasteful thing as "a husband". That would be like mentioning they have a carbuncle on their ass.

Maybe change who you follow on Twitter.

I did an exercise years ago that involved labeling myself in ways that made me feel proud and individual.

I don't have kids, but I could see "mom of" being on that list. I can't imagine it would be first, since giving birth isn't exactly a unique achievement. Maybe if I had raised kids that turned out to be amazing, I would feel proud.

I think motherhood has become a mission for some young women, and it worries me. It's certainly important, but it isn't really about *you* and you need to take care of you, too.

They may not have a husband. If they do have one he's little more than a sperm donor in their eyes.

Anonymous wrote:It’s their way of letting potential relationship prospects know that they’ll always come second, third, or fourth in her life.

Of course. Children, family, and jobs are priorities. Random d***s? Not so much. They are everywhere. Free too.

Anonymous wrote:but nothing about the husband?

It would be so tacky; this is not the 1950s. I have mom of 2 kids/scientist/native plant gardener in mine.

It’s their way of letting potential relationship prospects know that they’ll always come second, third, or fourth in her life.

Because kids can be a great accessory and a shield. No one feels bad for attacking a professor, a writer, but doing the same to someone's mom would be terrible.

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure they have husbands?

If these are young mothers I find a lot of them define themselves by their motherhood which is sad. Themselves as a person are not important who they are as a mother is the most important thing about their identity

What's wrong with enjoying motherhood? I would say that being a mom is a big part of my identity because I enjoy it. I like my job and my hobbies but it's not as fun and rewarding as motherhood. I've known I've wanted to he a mother since I was eleven years old. I didn't know exactly what job I wanted at that age (where I grew up everyone either was in tech, worked for the school district, had their own business, was in healthcare, or was a SAHM so I didn't feel like I had lots of choices) but I knew I wanted to be a mom.

Motherhood is a much more transformative experience than getting married. It also demands a much more significant amount of time and energy. I think young women are more open to self-identifying as a mom and talking about that role with pride. Boomer women were expected to be wives and mothers and never make it seem like either was hard or a burden. Gen Xers we’re encouraged to focus on their careers and not emphasize wife or mother as a part of her identity even if it was.

Millennials and older Gen Z are becoming moms and realizing this might be a raw deal. They see that Carter’s are variable and might not be satisfying and fulfilling in the way people promise. They also view marriage with less idealism than past generations, having grown up in a time when divorce is normalized and women expect more egalitarianism, and being the doting wife still feels regressive.

But being a doting mother who is really proud of that role feels liberating. Not pretending that your kids don’t exist so people will take you seriously at work, or claiming that your life is magically unchanged since becoming a mom. There is something very honest about just saying “yes, being a mom is probably my primary identity right now, and I’m proud, not embarrassed by that.”

You actually see a lot of men doing the same right now. I think it’s good.

My boss has "scientist, mother, runner, she/her" in her profile. She is also a wife but obviously finds that descriptive unbecoming.

Anonymous wrote:but nothing about the husband?

Also, they look educated and attractive.

Maybe, they ditch the father or go IVF?

Are you sure they have husbands?

If these are young mothers I find a lot of them define themselves by their motherhood which is sad. Themselves as a person are not important who they are as a mother is the most important thing about their identity

but nothing about the husband?