No. My spouse is his own person- he has his own dreams, desires, friends, hobbies. He surprises me a lot- something he is good at that I didn’t know, something new he wants to try, a new friend that he made, a new place he wants to go.

He is very vivacious and occasionally exhausting but I love him very much. He gives me space and I give him space.

But even then he is not my only person. I have friends I talk to about things he doesn’t care about. He doesn’t care about politics, he doesn’t like to read, etc. I have other friends I can talk to about this things.

Anonymous wrote:Op. We have a 10 and 8 year old. I basically get all my emotional satisfaction from my friends. Covid has felt isolating.

Your spouse should not be your everything. Isn’t that a lot to ask from one person? Lover, best friend, main emotional support, advisor, financial partner, roommate, etc.? Pick a couple and leave a couple to your other relationships.

I feel this
I feel like I am his mom. Sucky dynamic

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to get divorced, but how do I manage?

Do you like someone else? Are you comparing him/her to others? If its not due to grass is greener on the other side, let your attention and support help him/her grow. If you are unhappy or depressed, work on yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You haven’t outgrown him you just haven’t thought about it the right way, in 22 minutes you will feel much better about your situation.

https://youtu.be/-EvvPZFdjyk

Every relationship takes work. Where people feel they’ve outgrown their partner it’s because the person can’t or won’t do the work necessary to connect any more and it stagnates.

I guess we both need to put in the work. Video was interesting. Maybe I’ll send it to him. Not sure he is as unhappy as I am.

Anonymous wrote:How old were you when you married OP?

30. We had a gap then, but it has only grown over the years.

Anonymous wrote:You haven’t outgrown him you just haven’t thought about it the right way, in 22 minutes you will feel much better about your situation.

https://youtu.be/-EvvPZFdjyk

Every relationship takes work. Where people feel they’ve outgrown their partner it’s because the person can’t or won’t do the work necessary to connect any more and it stagnates.

How old were you when you married OP?

You haven’t outgrown him you just haven’t thought about it the right way, in 22 minutes you will feel much better about your situation.

https://youtu.be/-EvvPZFdjyk

Yes I have put on about 30 pounds and so has dropped 10 pounds.

Op. We have a 10 and 8 year old. I basically get all my emotional satisfaction from my friends. Covid has felt isolating.

Dont have kids or more than 1.

Have more friends and group dates and group vacations.

Just divorce him.

You form friendships/connections with people who are on the level in whatever aspect you might have outgrown your spouse.

I bet your spouse thinks that they have outgrown you in some aspect too.

You have to adjust your expectations, drop them, basically.

I don’t want to get divorced, but how do I manage?