Me, my sister surprised me by cooking a meal for the family displacing all the ingredients I had for Christmas Day!

I was so happy she volunteered, but so embarrassed when I realized she had used the ingredients I was planning on using right before cooking.

My IL’s basically never eat at home; just breakfast which is always some kind of sugar bomb pastry or a stale bagel and coffee. They go through a token effort of having more food around when we come to visit, so it’s, like, a few oranges and bananas, they’ll unearth some stale cereal for the kids, peanut butter and jelly of questionable age, dinner will be ok but that’s it.

Anonymous wrote:Many people eat less as they age, so they might forget what it’s like to want to eat more frequently.

Others are the type who are still strict calorie-counters with a 1970s/80s mentality and can’t understand why half a grapefruit isn’t enough to tide you over from the time you get up until the time you have dinner. There have been many threads on here about parents/IL’s (typically the mother) having disordered eating and expecting their children and grandchildren to follow along.

I’m the pp with the foreign in-laws. My sense is that MIL is just done taking care of other people. She lives in a very patriarchal society and raised a half-dozen kids in rudimentary conditions while FIL came to the US to work. FIL is domineering and mean. My sense is this is her version of a bra burner. She lives as if he doesn’t exist and like hell she’s going to wait on anyone anymore. Which I fully respect. But their village doesn’t have amenities like restaurants. And I don’t speak enough of the language to fend for myself. So we were limited to eating when we visited others, which we did daily. But still. I practically ran to the nearest airport wine bar when we landed back in the US.

Anonymous wrote:Many people eat less as they age, so they might forget what it’s like to want to eat more frequently.

Others are the type who are still strict calorie-counters with a 1970s/80s mentality and can’t understand why half a grapefruit isn’t enough to tide you over from the time you get up until the time you have dinner. There have been many threads on here about parents/IL’s (typically the mother) having disordered eating and expecting their children and grandchildren to follow along.

My mom bought 1 frozen pizza to feed 3 teenagers for dinner over TG. I ran out to buy 2 more. She has no idea.

Many people eat less as they age, so they might forget what it’s like to want to eat more frequently.

Others are the type who are still strict calorie-counters with a 1970s/80s mentality and can’t understand why half a grapefruit isn’t enough to tide you over from the time you get up until the time you have dinner. There have been many threads on here about parents/IL’s (typically the mother) having disordered eating and expecting their children and grandchildren to follow along.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws. I lost 10lbs the last time we visited. Didn’t feed us and didn’t invite us to use the kitchen.

Your visit was TOO long then.

My in-laws live in a foreign country. And yes, way, way too long.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mom. My cousin stayed with her for a week and she basically starved him. He could eat if she didn't feel like eating. They'd go out all day and they'd have one meal.

Did anyone call her out on this? That's not okay

Why didn’t he just jump in the car and get a cheeseburger? I would’ve told your mom that I was hungry and went grocery shopping or grabbed takeout; I certainly wouldn’t only eat when your mother deemed it okay. Or is your cousin a minor who could not take matters into his own hands?

Anonymous wrote:My Mom. My cousin stayed with her for a week and she basically starved him. He could eat if she didn't feel like eating. They'd go out all day and they'd have one meal.

Did anyone call her out on this? That's not okay

It's just so bizarre and poor manners

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws. I lost 10lbs the last time we visited. Didn’t feed us and didn’t invite us to use the kitchen.

Your visit was TOO long then.

I’m almost jealous. My south Asian in-laws monitor and shame you if you don’t gorge yourself.

My in-laws. I lost 10lbs the last time we visited. Didn’t feed us and didn’t invite us to use the kitchen.

My Mom. My cousin stayed with her for a week and she basically starved him. He could eat if she didn't feel like eating. They'd go out all day and they'd have one meal.

I leave a few non messy snacks in the guest room when someone stays over, in case they need a little something but don’t feel comfortable bothering me late at night or if I’m in the shower or something. I also tell them they can feel free to help themselves to anything in the pantry or fridge. I also check in with them to see if they’re hungry if it’s been a while since the last meal. I can’t imagine telling people (especially growing children!) that my kitchen is closed and they can only eat on a schedule that I dictate.

I seriously can't imagine it. My parents and in-laws always have more than enough and getting food from their kitchens at non meal times is never an issue. I would be so outta there if I had to deal with this bs.