My mother lived a charmed life and felt she deserved it and earned it. She has said and done so many hurtful things as I navigate raising one child with SN and one who is typically developing. When life suddenly started throwing challenges her way she couldn't cope and leaned on me a lot and desperate to win her approval I was there for her. She didn't appreciate it at all and over time I became her verbal punching bag. I finally decided enough was enough. My focus was on the family I created, my job, my friends and helping my child with SN reach full potential. I had no time for the BS anymore. I maintain a cordial and distant relationship. When she is cruel I step back. Sure I feel resentment still now and then, but remind myself of my priorities and goals and all I do is punish myself if I let resentment fester. I force myself to march forward and save my energy and thoughts for those who matter most.

Anonymous wrote:It could be anything, a disability, growing up with alcoholic parents, having a child that has some situation/special need people blame your parenting on... if you are in some way judged harshly for something you had to control over, how do you let go of the anger and resentment of it?

You just have to realize that you have no control over this and never ever will. Other people’s opinions of you are not your business. A lot of people fail entirely to accept that there but for the grace of fate go they, and they will not ever do so. They want to give themselves credit for having normal kids, easy lives, etc., often because they don’t have any actual accomplishments or success that was earned. Don’t waste the space or time on this.

Anonymous wrote:You can choose to be a victim or not.

wow. Why don’t you start handing out bootstraps to everyone there, Donald.

Anonymous wrote:It could be anything, a disability, growing up with alcoholic parents, having a child that has some situation/special need people blame your parenting on... if you are in some way judged harshly for something you had to control over, how do you let go of the anger and resentment of it?

By recognizing that the only one whose opinion matters is your own and having compassion for yourself because you know the whole story. Spend your time with loving, compassionate people and limit the time you spend with people who judge you.

The bigger issue IMO is not to let THEIR judgment become YOUR voice in your head. Don't take on their cruel voices against yourself.

You can choose to be a victim or not.

pp again. Spend your time with others. That's on you.

Why do you know you are being judged? You have too close contact if you know.

You can't fight ignorance and stupidity OP. I live this myself and just don't respond. If they want to judge let them. I have on occasion said "why do you feel the need to make such comments?" Sorry you deal with this.

It could be anything, a disability, growing up with alcoholic parents, having a child that has some situation/special need people blame your parenting on... if you are in some way judged harshly for something you had to control over, how do you let go of the anger and resentment of it?