Anonymous wrote:any tips for dealing with disappointment? we're exhausted, running out of time

I have been doing IVF for two years and still don’t have any children. It isn’t easy, but I do try to focus on what I do have. It is hard to do, but it does help. Especially during the holidays.

Same boat OP. I've got 1 year until my husband deploys and we can't try again until probably late January or February so I literally have no time to breathe. Hang in there.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP, I have been there - years of infertility, loss, and failed IVF. I wish I had known going in that it's a numbers game, however if you keep going there will eventually be success somehow. I think for mental health it is definitely important to take a break and have some months off where you don't think about IVF. It is all-consuming, so it's good to get out of that bubble, distract with other things, then come back when ready.

How many rounds of IVF have you done, how many transfers? I think next steps all depend on that too. Wishing you all the best!

Have you never met someone childless not by choice? This is simply not true and harmful to women that did everything (treatment, donor, adoption) and never got lucky. Have some awareness, PP.

I’ve been through it twice and a supportive husband is everything.

I'm sorry OP, I have been there - years of infertility, loss, and failed IVF. I wish I had known going in that it's a numbers game, however if you keep going there will eventually be success somehow. I think for mental health it is definitely important to take a break and have some months off where you don't think about IVF. It is all-consuming, so it's good to get out of that bubble, distract with other things, then come back when ready.

How many rounds of IVF have you done, how many transfers? I think next steps all depend on that too. Wishing you all the best!

I'm sorry, OP. I'm not sure how far along you are in the process, but I wish I had realized sooner that IVF is a crapshoot. Our first round was a total disaster and I was pushed to donor egg. I later learned that so many other people have the same experience because the doctor has no way to know what protocol might work best for your body.
Our second attempt with my own eggs was better (although I still needed to do four retrievals to get the embryos we need before a transfer).
It's so hard.

I’m in the same situation and it’s very, very hard. I am so sorry, OP.

There is no easy way - it's tough. We went through this for our one and only. I was so scared emotionally and physically from the injections and process that I didn't have the energy to try for a second. I was so happy to finally have the one. In your case, OP, I suggest focusing on your DC so she/he does not feel the stress. try doing fun things with existing DC to take your mind off the process. Best of luck.

Hugs OP.

Bank as many of what you need right now (eggs, embryos, whatever the case may be), and try to take a little break to recharge. Then gear up to test stuff to make sure every transfer is the best it can be (era test, uterine blood flow, etc).
Hugs to you.

I’m so sorry. The whole process is hard and the holidays make it even more emotional. This is a good time to look for ways to lift up your partner and let your partner know that you need the same. Big hugs.

We never had a second. It was devastating to never have a child we desperately wanted, but ultimately we can see there are SO many benefits to this lifestyle and it’s our loss, not DCs. But the process is hard, so be gentle on yourself and practice a lot of self care. Even when I felt like I was dying on the inside, I always talked to DC about how amazing our family was and how lucky DC was to have mommy and daddy all to their self. Now we have an elementary kid that still feels that way, and they’re right! They are lucky and we are lucky to have each other.

we have one child.

Are you doing IVF to try to conceive your first child, OP?
We went through infertility treatments for several years before we were finally successful with FET. I'm so sorry. There's no right way to deal with the disappointment, and it is brutal to have one failed cycle after another or suffer a loss. I dealt with both on our journey. I basically just tried to immerse myself in hobbies and my work as a distraction...but it was the hardest several years of my life, no doubt.

any tips for dealing with disappointment? we're exhausted, running out of time