Anonymous wrote:Your 11 year old is bullying her much younger siblings. If the siblings were on anything resembling equal footing, it might be within the range of normal, but, since you are talking about a 3 year old and a 7 year old, they are pretty defenseless and she is taking advantage of that. Put a stop to it.

It's a concerning that a child that age is trying to assert dominance/have power over kids so young. No, it is not normal. Just because a lot of things were ignored in our day it doesn't mean it's normal. Those same parents are now wondering why their adult child has so many interpersonal issues.

Hitting as in hitting or a little tap? Either way, tell her to keep her hands to herself.

The farting never gets old for them. My 14 yo does it and laughs near all of us still. I really yell when it’s at the dinner table and I’m telling him it’s not appropriate but then I look and DH is laughing.

Anonymous wrote:She needs to be disciplined, but her position in the family absolutely sucks!

There’s more going on…

Really? What sucks about being the spoiled oldest child for whom nothing must ever change? Kinda sucks more being the younger kid that never gets to do anything because the older has all the time booked up with her activities and never has anything new because the half-worn out stuff your older sibling doesn't want anymore is good enough for you. And if the older one wants it back, you can't have that either. Now you need to put up with being randomly smacked in the head just for existing. Sure, we should all feel bad for the bully.

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty disgraceful stuff OP. Your 11 yr old might need therapy. She sounds sociopathic.

She sounds neglected.

This is pretty disgraceful stuff OP. Your 11 yr old might need therapy. She sounds sociopathic.

Normal and good luck stopping it. The antagonizer always figures out ways to be subtle. For example, farting — can you really punish someone for farting? She’ll say it came out by accident, or it wasn’t her, etc. this evolves into a situation where the vicitim(s) develops a hair trigger response to basically anything the antagonizer does and calls it “teasing” or assumes it is being done to annoy. I don’t have answers other than nip it in the bud hard and fast if you can.

Your 11 year old is bullying her much younger siblings. If the siblings were on anything resembling equal footing, it might be within the range of normal, but, since you are talking about a 3 year old and a 7 year old, they are pretty defenseless and she is taking advantage of that. Put a stop to it.

I would not tolerate an 11 year old hitting little kids like that. They are probably struggling on how to engage with them. My 10 and 8 year olds play mostly as peers.

She needs to be disciplined, but her position in the family absolutely sucks!

There’s more going on…

Anonymous wrote:Hitting is not ok.

You have to stop the hitting. They're going to hate her for it (and you for letting it happen).

It's somewhat normal for her to try but at 11 she should be past this behavior. Seems more appropriate for a six year old. I would be catching her hand as she raises it to hit to prevent it, and sending her to her room until she can interact with people appropriately. EVERY TIME.

And I'd send her to the bathroom every time she farts.

Hitting is not ok.

You need to be a parent and handle this. Yes to stop it and give consequences.

We have the same. It never ends🙄

11yo DD will instigate or annoy DS 3 and DS 7 by doing things like hitting them in the back of their head with her hand or farting near them. I’m at my wits end and as an only child I don’t know if this is just annoying interaction that’s harmless or if my endless interceding is causing the situation to continue longer than it should.