Anonymous wrote:Did he agree before she submitted the application and now that she has been accepted he has changed his mind? Assuming so, I would (1) you and daughter contact financial aid office at Cornell and explain the situation, and (2) if your daughter has to decline the ED due to financial reasons, I would make sure to explain this to her HS guidance counselor because it looks very bad for your daughter and the HS and I'd want to make sure they know the reasons were out of your daughter's control, in that they need to assist with her further applications.

I'm this poster. Did your divorce decree obligate father to contribute to college? Is there a 529 account?

Even if father changes his mind once again now and says he will pay, I wouldn't trust someone who had pulled the plug once. Even if he comes through this year, he could easily bail in a future year. Unless you can afford to send your daughter to a private college on your own/with financial aid, or unless your divorce decree obligates him in some way/set amount, I would tell DD that she is going to need to go to state university and start getting excited about that - it likely will be as great as Cornell and if she has the attriubtes to have been accepted there ED she will succeed anyplace!

Don't be afraid to talk to financial aid too and be honest. I knew someone whose Dad was well off but cut her off and our college helped her out even though FAFSA said he should contribute.

You should have negotiated he'd pay at least 50% in your custody agreement.

I find it really weird that you let her apply to schools you had no plan for paying for.

Did he agree before she submitted the application and now that she has been accepted he has changed his mind? Assuming so, I would (1) you and daughter contact financial aid office at Cornell and explain the situation, and (2) if your daughter has to decline the ED due to financial reasons, I would make sure to explain this to her HS guidance counselor because it looks very bad for your daughter and the HS and I'd want to make sure they know the reasons were out of your daughter's control, in that they need to assist with her further applications.

You options are in fact...taking out loans. That's it.

Anonymous wrote:this is a conversation you should have had with both her and her father before the application went in

+1. Does Cornell undergrad mean your kid will have too much debt for Cornell caliber grad school?

Anonymous wrote:this is a conversation you should have had with both her and her father before the application went in

i saw this first hand in college: smart, young classmate and her parents had recently divorced. there was no provision to pay for college and the dad was not going to do so. she spent a good chunk of college emancipating herself. she ended up as a successful lawyer, but i sometimes wonder if it would have been better if she had gone to what is a great instate school for what was a third of the cost at that time.

Your DD may need to withdraw based on finances and apply to a host of other, more affordable options.

BTW, unless she is unusual in that she has shown creditworthiness at 18, your DD doesn’t take out loans once you get beyond the $5500-7500 everyone can get, you take out loans, or you co-sign for them. This is an unsecured loan and your kid has no credit history.

For now just take it and then get transferred.

this is a conversation you should have had with both her and her father before the application went in

Taking out loans or talking to Cornell and getting out of ED contact to go somewhere cheaper.

It seems unlikely that Cornell will come through with more need baes aid because a parent doesn’t want to pay. If it were as easy as a parent changing their mind about paying and a college stepping up with more $$, we’d all do that.

What changed? I’m hoping you sat down WH your ex to discuss paying for college long before. The application went in? Did he agree to pay? Or you let your kid apply and just hope it would work itself out?

Unfortunately ex has no obligation to help. She'll have to find a way to do it on her own (loans, job).

Most people have loans.

DD accepted ED to Cornell. My ex refuses to pay for DD college. What are my options besides her taking out loans?