Anonymous wrote:Ha ha only helicopter parents engage in such nonsense.

I sent four kids to college. Still have no idea what any of their grades were.

I admire this but I have SN kids who need to maintain a certain GPA for future credentialing in their chosen career path. I think I’m going to have to look but think it would be great to do so.

Anonymous wrote:What we told our kids was if they showed us they had a B average or higher we'd keep paying. If they were in danger of having less than a B, we expected them to seek out tutoring through the school or ask for money to hire one. If they had less than a B for more than one semester, they had to switch to an in-state school. They always told us their grades.

Ok. This makes sense. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha only helicopter parents engage in such nonsense.

I sent four kids to college. Still have no idea what any of their grades were.

Did you pay 300K for each?

For a few reasons:

- so he knows we know without us having to ask or nag
- so we can intervene if needed - he would NEVER ask us
- it's expensive and it is an investment
- he would be states away and it is a way to be able to know what is going on
-it would be conditional and maybe just freshman year

What we told our kids was if they showed us they had a B average or higher we'd keep paying. If they were in danger of having less than a B, we expected them to seek out tutoring through the school or ask for money to hire one. If they had less than a B for more than one semester, they had to switch to an in-state school. They always told us their grades.

Ha ha only helicopter parents engage in such nonsense.

I sent four kids to college. Still have no idea what any of their grades were.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FERPA denies you access unless that access is specifically granted by DC. And "access" in college doesn't mean what it did in HS, MS, or ES: you're only going to get semester grades anyway. You're not going to see individual assignments unless DC gives you their password to the course-management software being used by a given class - and at my college, that would be an explicit security breach.

Monitoring academic work in college really means communicating with your student. If you think they'd misrepresent their struggles to you, or they'd lie about how they're spending their time, or they'd hide difficulties, that could be a problem. But if they are basically trustworthy and share when you ask, that might be a different story. What would happen if you tried a more hands-off approach for the last semester of HS and tried to establish a conversational routine about academics?

Yes, I realized that they technically have to give us access. And yes I mean semester grades.

We already have a conversational routine re academics in hs. I feel that college should be more hands off in that way. But I still want to be able to see them and for him to know it- that he is accountable.

Why?

I pay for school so I literally go into the portal to pay. My son gives me access.

I could look at final grades, though I never have. Interim grades are not in the portal.

I usually say, so how did your semester go…. And he tells me… he has gotten as low as a 1.8 GPA one semester and as high as 3.5.

Why wouldn’t your child shared their grades with you?

My friend’s son was in a car accident and she had to log in to find the professors names so she could email them.

Why is this so complex?

*fixed typos

Anonymous wrote:FERPA denies you access unless that access is specifically granted by DC. And "access" in college doesn't mean what it did in HS, MS, or ES: you're only going to get semester grades anyway. You're not going to see individual assignments unless DC gives you their password to the course-management software being used by a given class - and at my college, that would be an explicit security breach.

Monitoring academic work in college really means communicating with your student. If you think they'd misrepresent their struggles to you, or they'd lie about how they're spending their time, or they'd hide difficulties, that could be a problem. But if they are basically trustworthy and share when you ask, that might be a different story. What would happen if you tried a more hands-off approach for the last semester of HS and tried to establish a conversational routine about academics?

Yes, I realized that they technically have to give us access. And yes I mean semester grades.

We already have a conversational routine re academics in hs. I feel that college should be more hands off in that way. But I still want to be able to see them and for him to know it- that he is accountable.

I pay for school so I literally go into the portal to pay. My sin gives me access.

I could look at final grades, though I never have. Interim grades are big in the portal.

I usually say, so how did your semester go…. And he tells me… he has gotten as low as a 1.8 GPA one semester and as high as 3.5.

Why wouldn’t your child shared their grades with you?

My friend’s son was in a car accident and she had to log in to find the professors names so she could email them.

Why is this so complex?

FERPA denies you access unless that access is specifically granted by DC. And "access" in college doesn't mean what it did in HS, MS, or ES: you're only going to get semester grades anyway. You're not going to see individual assignments unless DC gives you their password to the course-management software being used by a given class - and at my college, that would be an explicit security breach.

Monitoring academic work in college really means communicating with your student. If you think they'd misrepresent their struggles to you, or they'd lie about how they're spending their time, or they'd hide difficulties, that could be a problem. But if they are basically trustworthy and share when you ask, that might be a different story. What would happen if you tried a more hands-off approach for the last semester of HS and tried to establish a conversational routine about academics?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have access to your dcs' grades?

My parents did not when I was in college in the mid 1990s. It never occurred to us or me.

However, my ds's top choice is an expensive private that is states away that we would likely pay for full freight unless there is a little merit money. I feel that because of this we need to know where he stands and be able to support him if he needs it. Is this a strings attached idea? I don't consider myself a controlling or helicopter mom at all. But this is a ton of money.

He also has been accepted to our state flagship which is just 30 minutes away and also our alma mater. I feel more ambivalent about having access to grades at this school and I am not sure why.

Also this is something that could be a year by year thing. Like maybe just have access his freshman year and if things are going ok then back off.

Thoughts?

This is not a thing. In fact, it's against federal law. You are not entitled to know this.

The kids can give you access. It's not about the law. It's about a condition of paying for their college.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have access to your dcs' grades?

My parents did not when I was in college in the mid 1990s. It never occurred to us or me.

However, my ds's top choice is an expensive private that is states away that we would likely pay for full freight unless there is a little merit money. I feel that because of this we need to know where he stands and be able to support him if he needs it. Is this a strings attached idea? I don't consider myself a controlling or helicopter mom at all. But this is a ton of money.

He also has been accepted to our state flagship which is just 30 minutes away and also our alma mater. I feel more ambivalent about having access to grades at this school and I am not sure why.

Also this is something that could be a year by year thing. Like maybe just have access his freshman year and if things are going ok then back off.

Thoughts?

This is not a thing. In fact, it's against federal law. You are not entitled to know this.

My thought is if you are paying, you are entitled to grades. My parents expected me to give a copy of my grades to them. I'd expect my child to do the same. I dont' think its controlling.

Do you have access to your dcs' grades?

My parents did not when I was in college in the mid 1990s. It never occurred to us or me.

However, my ds's top choice is an expensive private that is states away that we would likely pay for full freight unless there is a little merit money. I feel that because of this we need to know where he stands and be able to support him if he needs it. Is this a strings attached idea? I don't consider myself a controlling or helicopter mom at all. But this is a ton of money.

He also has been accepted to our state flagship which is just 30 minutes away and also our alma mater. I feel more ambivalent about having access to grades at this school and I am not sure why.

Also this is something that could be a year by year thing. Like maybe just have access his freshman year and if things are going ok then back off.

Thoughts?