Anonymous wrote:Pressure from society to find a husband at any cost.

This. Surprisingly, many women still equate success to having a man, and are willing to forego actual happiness for the appearance of it.

Anonymous wrote:Assertive men are sexy. Also, because they aggressively seek out a relationship with the woman, they're the path of least resistance. Aggression and assertiveness are often correlated with toxic and abusive behaviors.

Men like this are NOT sexy on any level.

Give me a sensitive, articulate man over any muscle man who curses and slams doors!

Low self-esteem
Belief that jealousy or controlling behavior is a sign of love
Belief that they can and should "fix" these guys
Addiction to drama
Modelling the relationships that their parents had
Fear of being alone

Some women don’t expect more or don’t feel they deserve more. My husband is not amazing or perfect, but he is a competent adult, active parent, and nice person. When my friends come over, he offers them a drink, makes conversation with them, and entertains the kids so we can catch up. My friend says that when she’s visiting her southern hometown all her friends husbands basically grunt or look up and nod from playing video games when she arrives and then totally ignore the kids so it’s hard to talk. She thinks my husband walks on water because he knows what kind of wine she likes and has it chilled if he knows she’s coming over. I think her friends are settling for putting up with their worthless husbands. I mentioned at her BD party that my husband washes dishes every day and sends out all of our holiday cards and I thought their heads would explode. He does a true 50% of the physical and mental work of parenting and home ownership and people act like it’s a miracle or I trained him. He was like this when I met him and I don’t understand why so many women put up with so much feigned incompetence.

Assertive men are sexy. Also, because they aggressively seek out a relationship with the woman, they're the path of least resistance. Aggression and assertiveness are often correlated with toxic and abusive behaviors.

Codependency, people pleasing, unconscious ways our society behaves that set expectations on women (for men too but for women it plays out this way)

Anonymous wrote:A lot of you aren't looking at the bigger picture. Often unless it's real bad they try and stay till the kids get older. Otherwise, the kids will be alone with the abuser or their trick of the moment.

I understand this.

However, I see women who will break up with abusive men and move on to more abusive men. They’ll subject their children to these relationships even when there isn’t a biological tie.

Anonymous wrote:How do you define abusive and toxic? What do they mean, exactly? Be specific.

Physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually. A man who will gaslight, speak down to his partner, hit them and coerce or force into sex acts. By toxic I mean constant fighting, breaking up and getting back together, codependency etc

How do you define abusive and toxic? What do they mean, exactly? Be specific.

A lot of you aren't looking at the bigger picture. Often unless it's real bad they try and stay till the kids get older. Otherwise, the kids will be alone with the abuser or their trick of the moment.

Anonymous wrote:Pressure from society to find a husband at any cost.

This
I know one woman who cannot live alone the thought terrifies her, another who has to be with a man living single is just not for her I also know a married woman who is against friendships with single women. Even her mother told her to stay away from those

Both of the above Plus thinking they can’t do better or can’t earn enough to live on their own. Too many women think any man is better than no man.

Pressure from society to find a husband at any cost.

I think we subconsciously choose people that seem familiar. Low self esteem also plays into it.

Do you think it’s solely a response to absent or abusive fathers? Is it more complex?

All the women I know like that had really horrible childhood with horrifically abusive fathers.