What kind of nickname? Is it like an endearing, bonding kind of nickname you use to express intimacy and love? If so, I understand why it bugs you, I doubt your MIL uses your intimate nicknames for your DH so not sure why others think it’s ok for her to use the equivalent of that for your DD.

But I am not sure how you address this without sounding petty.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a nickname, people will use it.

+1 this isn’t the kind of thing you can be territorial about.

“Grandma, I like it better when you call me Sarah, not Schloopy”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL recently started calling my kid by the pet name that only I and DH use. It grates on me when she says it. Kid thinks it's weird but tends to bend over backwards for people and when I asked if she cared just said, "well it's really for you and daddy at home, but I guess it's okay."

When MIL has used the name, I at first was surprised and let it go, but after seeing my kid make a face, I tried correcting and saying "Schmoopy? Oh, you mean Sarah?" which I realize is a little passive aggressive. Next time I said, "sorry, it's funny to hear you use that name, it's really just a nickname DH and I use." After that she seemed to do it even more!

I wish I could be more laid back, but it feels like nails on a chalkboard. Advice?

meds, therapy, psychological evaluation

x1000

OP, I have a particularly unique nickname for each of my kids that only I use. But a lot of other people know it because that is what I use when talking to them, even when other people are around.

It would rub me the wrong way...initially..if anyone else used it. But I would just accept it. This is not something you should try to stop.

It’s a nickname, people will use it.

Anonymous wrote:MIL recently started calling my kid by the pet name that only I and DH use. It grates on me when she says it. Kid thinks it's weird but tends to bend over backwards for people and when I asked if she cared just said, "well it's really for you and daddy at home, but I guess it's okay."

When MIL has used the name, I at first was surprised and let it go, but after seeing my kid make a face, I tried correcting and saying "Schmoopy? Oh, you mean Sarah?" which I realize is a little passive aggressive. Next time I said, "sorry, it's funny to hear you use that name, it's really just a nickname DH and I use." After that she seemed to do it even more!

I wish I could be more laid back, but it feels like nails on a chalkboard. Advice?

meds, therapy, psychological evaluation

I don’t get it: if it’s such a “private nickname,” how did she hear it in the first place?!

-DIL who strongly dislikes her ILs but doesn’t begrudge them a little overheard nickname appropriation

I am so grateful for my daughters-in-law. Just so grateful. You sound certifiable, OP.

Maybe kid isn’t bothered but is bending over backwards because she sees that MIL’s use of the name grates on you.

Everyone freezes and looks at her funny each time she uses it.

This is really weird. You really insist that only you and your husband use the name? Then why are you using it in front of other people? I think you're being way too sensitive about this OP. And you need to learn that you cannot control other people, you can only control your response to them. So get over it.

Besides, this is the child's grandmother. Of course she should be able to call your child by a pet name. Sheesh.

If you use it, why can't she?

Yea, I have advice for you -- chill out.

MIL recently started calling my kid by the pet name that only I and DH use. It grates on me when she says it. Kid thinks it's weird but tends to bend over backwards for people and when I asked if she cared just said, "well it's really for you and daddy at home, but I guess it's okay."

When MIL has used the name, I at first was surprised and let it go, but after seeing my kid make a face, I tried correcting and saying "Schmoopy? Oh, you mean Sarah?" which I realize is a little passive aggressive. Next time I said, "sorry, it's funny to hear you use that name, it's really just a nickname DH and I use." After that she seemed to do it even more!

I wish I could be more laid back, but it feels like nails on a chalkboard. Advice?