Anonymous wrote:As a child of divorced parents, if someone's going to judge me for something I couldn't control, rather than how I dealt with that event, I have zero interest in marrying them. So, there's that.

same.

What an odd question.

While I am SURE there are people who witnessed and internalized bad patterns and dynamics from their parents' relationships, there are tons of people who experience this whether their parents are divorced or married.

Yikes to this question and the entire premise that it is even worth considering.

You need to really see the reasons behind it.

For cheating, alcoholics, physically and emotionally abusive households, hell YEAH that would be some MAJOR red flags. You can pretty much guarantee as nice as they seem in their 20s/early 30s pre-marriage, there are going to be some really big issues come midlife and when kids come along. A lot of that trauma comes out after kids are born and holidays and everything bring back lots of repressed trauma. They also learn to 'lie and compartmentalize' because that is what they had to do outside of the home, they usually learned it from the other parent.

Anonymous wrote:It would give me pause. I am in my late 30s and have 4 close friends who have already divorced. In 3 out of 4 of those cases, the person asking for the divorce has divorced parents. The outlier has parents who are still married but went through multiple separations when the family was young.

Same. And I would not marry the child of a divorcée.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes.

You someone wouldn't marry the children of Jeff Bezos, Sergey Brin, Bill Gates because they're parents divorced??

LOL

I mean you think** someone wouldn't marry the children of Jeff Bezos, Sergey Brin, Bill Gates because they're parents divorced??

And so now are all of them...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would give me pause. I am in my late 30s and have 4 close friends who have already divorced. In 3 out of 4 of those cases, the person asking for the divorce has divorced parents. The outlier has parents who are still married but went through multiple separations when the family was young.

I agree. I think the more that divorce is normalized growing up, the more likely someone will turn to it.

'

Divorce is not a sign of failure and there is nothing wrong with it.

Regular people think a successful marriage is one that never ends. That mindset is a problem in it self.

I would hope that someone would express this early in a relationship, because it's about the biggest red flag opinion that I've ever read

It would depend on the circumstances. Signing up for divorced in laws means an exponentially more complicated in-law relationship, more drama over holidays, potential acrimony at weddings and other events. Eldercare becomes more complicated with step-parents. Inheritances are messier.

If the divorced parents were amicable and self aware, if they understood their choice to divorce meant 1/3 vs 1/2 on holidays/grandchildren events, then I would not make it a dealbreaker, but I would not marry someone whose parents were messily divorced.

Not that it is likely to matter as my parents and in laws are still married, but it is how I would advise my children.

As a child of divorced parents, if someone's going to judge me for something I couldn't control, rather than how I dealt with that event, I have zero interest in marrying them. So, there's that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would give me pause. I am in my late 30s and have 4 close friends who have already divorced. In 3 out of 4 of those cases, the person asking for the divorce has divorced parents. The outlier has parents who are still married but went through multiple separations when the family was young.

I agree. I think the more that divorce is normalized growing up, the more likely someone will turn to it.

'

Divorce is not a sign of failure and there is nothing wrong with it.

Regular people think a successful marriage is one that never ends. That mindset is a problem in it self.

Anonymous wrote:It would give me pause. I am in my late 30s and have 4 close friends who have already divorced. In 3 out of 4 of those cases, the person asking for the divorce has divorced parents. The outlier has parents who are still married but went through multiple separations when the family was young.

I agree. I think the more that divorce is normalized growing up, the more likely someone will turn to it.

It would give me pause. I am in my late 30s and have 4 close friends who have already divorced. In 3 out of 4 of those cases, the person asking for the divorce has divorced parents. The outlier has parents who are still married but went through multiple separations when the family was young.

Anonymous wrote:yes.

You someone wouldn't marry the children of Jeff Bezos, Sergey Brin, Bill Gates because they're parents divorced??

LOL

You really butchered that line.

Anonymous wrote:yes.

You someone wouldn't marry the children of Jeff Bezos, Sergey Brin, Bill Gates because they're parents divorced??

LOL

I mean you think** someone wouldn't marry the children of Jeff Bezos, Sergey Brin, Bill Gates because they're parents divorced??

yes.

You someone wouldn't marry the children of Jeff Bezos, Sergey Brin, Bill Gates because they're parents divorced??

LOL

?