Anonymous wrote:
Hmm. That's so typically the kind of thing my husband would do, if he were in the same situation. He's very controlling.

I agree that you need to get all his demands and surveillance actions in writing, so you can have evidence to use in case you decide to fight it. Take photos of the tracking devices for now, and if it really bothers you, consult a lawyer.

It's tricky, because if your ex is at all like my husband, sometimes pushing back makes him worse. I've been allowing weird stuff just to keep the peace, and only fight when I feel he crosses the line. So if I were you, I'd only act if the lawyer told me I could legally enforce no surveillance. In the meantime, perhaps keep "losing" the trackers.

I am the one who suggested documenting and I agree with the approach of keeping the peace. You will never achieve anything via direct communication with people like this.

Anonymous wrote:“Lose” the trackers every time. That’ll get expensive real quick.

They are relatively cheap now. Apple ID trackers cost like $20-25 dollars. It looks like a button. They are easy to slip in somewhere.

First of all, that's nuts on his part. But if it's in his overnight bag, doesn't it just show him that it stays in your house the whole time? It's not on the kid himself, so it's not giving him info about the kid's whereabouts. I was going to say "take it out and put it in a drawer" but that would have the same effect.

Agree with PP above to document, because he doesn't sound rational or well. If he's going to get worse you want evidence.

Anonymous wrote:As soon as he has a phone she can track him.

If you aren’t doing anything you shouldn’t what is the issue?

The issue is that it is controlling and creepy. OP does not need her ex’s approval for everything she does during her custodial time. He is not entitled access to OP or their child during that time. Threatening to withhold the child unless his controlling requirements are met is abusive.

Call your lawyer, OP, and ignore the PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As soon as he has a phone she can track him.

If you aren’t doing anything you shouldn’t what is the issue?

He's a toddler and years away from having a phone.

People should not be tracking their ex-spouses. Period.

They aren’t they are tracking their own child. It’s not illegal. But go ahead call a lawyer.

This child will have a phone at 5.

“Lose” the trackers every time. That’ll get expensive real quick.

Hmm. That's so typically the kind of thing my husband would do, if he were in the same situation. He's very controlling.

I agree that you need to get all his demands and surveillance actions in writing, so you can have evidence to use in case you decide to fight it. Take photos of the tracking devices for now, and if it really bothers you, consult a lawyer.

It's tricky, because if your ex is at all like my husband, sometimes pushing back makes him worse. I've been allowing weird stuff just to keep the peace, and only fight when I feel he crosses the line. So if I were you, I'd only act if the lawyer told me I could legally enforce no surveillance. In the meantime, perhaps keep "losing" the trackers.

Anonymous wrote:As soon as he has a phone she can track him.

If you aren’t doing anything you shouldn’t what is the issue?

He's a toddler and years away from having a phone.

People should not be tracking their ex-spouses. Period.

Take the overnight bag to your parents or friends house and leave it there.

Travel to a state where it’s illegal and call the police there.

I am not in DC but I know that it’s generally very easy to withhold a child or there’s no custody order in place, so I hope you have one. If there is an order it takes forever to go to court, order the child to be returned etc.
honestly I would not mention the tracker, and take a picture of him in my car to show ex. Meanwhile, I would email him “last time you mentioned (insert all the crazy stuff) so could you specify blah blah” so that there is a record of his mental disorder and potentially a way for you to get more custody

It's an invasion of privacy and creepy.

As soon as he has a phone she can track him.

If you aren’t doing anything you shouldn’t what is the issue?

Talk to your lawyer. In the meantime you can take the trackers out and hand them back later

Has anyone had experience with this? I see that in Virginia it is unlawful but I don't know about DC. A few months ago my ex-husband started sending our son to my house with a GPS tracker (he's a toddler). He has also started tucking one away into his overnight bag. He has no reason for tracking -- I've never taken our son anywhere I wasn't supposed to. This is all about control and anxiety on my ex's part (these kinds of mental issues are one reason we aren't still married. He used to film me for no reason without my knowledge, for example).

The last time I went for pickup, he threatened to withhold our child if I didn't send him photos of any cars our child was in and a few other stipulations that had to do with surveillance. I want everything to go smoothly but I do not want these trackers.