Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is the sex life?

You intentionally used non gendered titles but it matters here. Most men feel loved through sex so if you are talking about your DH, my guess is your sex life is minimal and putting effort into that will help if not solve the problem

You’ve posted this before. Where did you learn this? Reading Cosmo while sitting at the pool? You’re conflating hormonal responses with emotional needs.

Anonymous wrote:How is the sex life?

You intentionally used non gendered titles but it matters here. Most men feel loved through sex so if you are talking about your DH, my guess is your sex life is minimal and putting effort into that will help if not solve the problem

Anonymous wrote:Therapy. Seriously. And maybe meds for anxiety and/or depression. I felt this way for too much of my life. I finally started therapy and now understand that childhood trauma created my insecurities and feelings of being unloved.

+1
My sister is like this, an absolutely empty pit of loneliness and neediness that cannot be answered by another person, it just can’t, because it’s intrinsic to her. She is such a wonderful person with such a sad trait and she chases away men with her need for love that cannot be met. It’s not on you, OP. You married him, you love him but you cannot fill the void.

Anonymous wrote:Therapy. Seriously. And maybe meds for anxiety and/or depression. I felt this way for too much of my life. I finally started therapy and now understand that childhood trauma created my insecurities and feelings of being unloved.

This.

Don’t be the spouse who thinks it’s your job to love them enough to fix this. Your spouse needs to learn to love themself enough. Sounds like some serious therapy and screening/treatment for possible other issues such as anxiety are in order.

How is the sex life?

Therapy. Seriously. And maybe meds for anxiety and/or depression. I felt this way for too much of my life. I finally started therapy and now understand that childhood trauma created my insecurities and feelings of being unloved.

Talk to me about what helped.