We told our dd when she was around 8 or so as she had been asking questions. It really was NBD. I also think it is important to be sex positive, i.e it is a fact of life and nothing to be embarrassed about.

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I can't remember specifically but she is 10 and it was years ago. Probably 6?

you explained a penis goes into a vagina to make a baby when she was 6???!!!

Also, if dh is better at this kind of thing, then have him do it. My dad had been a HS biology teacher and was just incredibly matter of fact about everything related to human anatomy and biology. My mother was much more emotional and unclear and would either not answer the question directly or start telling stories from her own life that I didn't want to hear. It wasn't actually more comfortable to talk to her, it was better to ask my dad questions.

Oh wow. I can't remember specifically but she is 10 and it was years ago. Probably 6?

Anonymous wrote:I guess my biggest worry is her visualizing her dad and I having intercourse. It feels embarrassing to me but will she be embarrassed, I don't know. Maybe I'm not giving her enough credit. Is that stupid?
-OP

My experience is that there is a window in which kids are curious, receptive, and take the information in stride, and then a time period later where it is intensely embarrassing to them. It's better to tell them during the first window, but if you miss that window, you just have to muddle through anyway. It's OK if you feel embarrassed, you can say it's private and can be embarrassing to talk about, but you want her to know you and she can talk about things, however embarrassing or awkward they are.

It's also kind of life, you know? It's not a big secret to anyone that you and her dad have had intercourse.

I guess my biggest worry is her visualizing her dad and I having intercourse. It feels embarrassing to me but will she be embarrassed, I don't know. Maybe I'm not giving her enough credit. Is that stupid?
-OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a very mature 10 year old who has been in puberty for over a year. She is very curious about all things puberty, periods, romantic relationships, etc.
We have open and honest convos about all of it, except for the physical intercourse part. Even though I know she can handle the reality of it, she is still 10 and it feels too young for her to have the image in her head.
Maybe I'm being completely irrational but I just haven't been able to go there yet.

"The image in her head" is only as dramatic as you make it, OP. It's a thing people do to make babies. But at her age and given your worries, why not get a book and read it together. Or give her the broad details and let her read the rest on her own.

Here's an image of how one of the best selling books approaches it:

Anonymous wrote:I figured I would do it when she asked (she has three younger siblings) and she just turned 9 and hasn’t asked. She knows about puberty, she knows about the sperm and the egg and embryology, she has just never asked me how the sperm gets to the egg. So I need to find a time to tell her and answer any questions she might have before it becomes titillating!

https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=zg_bs_3245_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=CGHD8KK0E4WPTPAFWR9K

https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763644846

Anonymous wrote:I have a very mature 10 year old who has been in puberty for over a year. She is very curious about all things puberty, periods, romantic relationships, etc.
We have open and honest convos about all of it, except for the physical intercourse part. Even though I know she can handle the reality of it, she is still 10 and it feels too young for her to have the image in her head.
Maybe I'm being completely irrational but I just haven't been able to go there yet.

"The image in her head" is only as dramatic as you make it, OP. It's a thing people do to make babies. But at her age and given your worries, why not get a book and read it together. Or give her the broad details and let her read the rest on her own.

I figured I would do it when she asked (she has three younger siblings) and she just turned 9 and hasn’t asked. She knows about puberty, she knows about the sperm and the egg and embryology, she has just never asked me how the sperm gets to the egg. So I need to find a time to tell her and answer any questions she might have before it becomes titillating!

6 or so. I think we read where do I come from together.

Between 7 and 8.

Also, you do not want her to go look this up on the internet to find out. Then the images she will have in her head will be actual extreme images. In my experience most kids are looking at porn inadvertently by 11 or 12.

Second grade or so. In the car. I think I had used the term “special hug” before that, but when my kid asked what that meant, I just explained. It’s time.

I have a very mature 10 year old who has been in puberty for over a year. She is very curious about all things puberty, periods, romantic relationships, etc.
We have open and honest convos about all of it, except for the physical intercourse part. Even though I know she can handle the reality of it, she is still 10 and it feels too young for her to have the image in her head.
Maybe I'm being completely irrational but I just haven't been able to go there yet.