Anonymous wrote:When this happens it's because the guy is gross. Period. Even if you ended up marrying him. He's still pathetic and gross.

+1

1/2 of your age + 7 = the universal appropriate dating age gap.

30/2 = 15 + 7 = 22

A 30 years old person has no business dating a 19 year-old.

I was 20 he was 39. I had Daddy issues. He had Peter Pan issues. On most levels is was a mistake. But he did give me a lot of great advice about the world that my own dad certainly did not.

I feel strongly had I had more confidence I never would have fallen for him. But, he did help me on the road to understanding I didn't have confidence and ways to start building it. So there is that.

When this happens it's because the guy is gross. Period. Even if you ended up marrying him. He's still pathetic and gross.

Anonymous wrote:I was 22. He was 29. I was pretty mature for my age (going out but not drinking a ton, generally down-to-earth/practical and financially responsible) but even so, I had a lot of growing up to do like dealing with typical insecurities and trust issues. We're happily married now and I still cringe at the version of myself he met...I was also worried that I would change drastically between my "young" self and my now self. Thankfully, we still love each other and I'm grateful I met him so early

Did I write this? Same, except I was barely 21 and he was just shy of 30 when we met. More than 20 years later and still happily married.

I dated a man who was 35 when I was 22. We didn’t date long. I mostly remember that his friends did NOT like me.

He was 40’s and one of my college professors. I thought it was great at the time. Guess I had issues. My life is boring and normal now (married for 30 years. 2 kids, UMC lifestyle).

Normal. He's my husband now. We have a teen and tween and a dog. Anything else you'd like to know?

I was 22, he was 31. He was a super nice guy I met through work but I think it was always clear it was not going to be serious. We dated on and off for about six months, before I left for the opposite coast for grad school. I only have good memories of the experience; he treated me well and didn't take advantage of me in any way, which is more than I can say for men I dated later in life, who were closer to my own age and when I should have known better.

I was 22. He was 29. I was pretty mature for my age (going out but not drinking a ton, generally down-to-earth/practical and financially responsible) but even so, I had a lot of growing up to do like dealing with typical insecurities and trust issues. We're happily married now and I still cringe at the version of myself he met...I was also worried that I would change drastically between my "young" self and my now self. Thankfully, we still love each other and I'm grateful I met him so early

I wanted access to legal alcohol and he eventually seemed to want a nice wife who wanted to get married and have kids right then. I broke it off when I realized he was so serious; very nice working class guy who was having a hard time finding an equally nice woman in a rough working class town. I wanted to finish college instead.

I was 18 and he was 45. For him it was great. For me, not so much. I was a very insecure, immature girl with daddy issues who fell in love hard. It turned out he was married in another country too which devastated me. It really affected all of my other relationships later on.

Now that I'm the age that he was back then, I wonder if I could ever date an 18 year old boy. The answer is HELL NO.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. In retrospect, he was an immature loser who couldn't engage a woman of his on age and peer group. It was extremely difficult to get rid of him and he told me I ruined his life. I was 19, he was 30.

Anonymous wrote:What was that experience like? What's it like being the 19 year old dating a 30something guy?

He was late 20's. I was 19. In hindsight he was desperate to get married. It was short-lived and that was a good thing. Also, we were dating when he lived in my hometown, which wasn't small, but because of the major industry there were more white collar guys than eligible women. I actually dated quite a few guys in their 20's/later 20's when I was 17+. I don't think that would have been the case if we were in a major city.

I think there are rare situations where this can work, with emphasis on rare.

What was that experience like? What's it like being the 19 year old dating a 30something guy?