Anonymous wrote:OP back. The kids look forward to this visit every year and do different activities with their cousins they enjoy during the weekend. BIL is saying he won’t come to dinner or bring his kids. FIL is very sick so this is probably the last one with him so we are trying to just go and make the best of it but it’s so hard.

Is there a way to spend time with the cousins outside of Thanksgiving?

Sorry OP. My holiday depression is right around the corner. I am far from my mom and brother and my Dad only plans with his wife. We are with my inlaws constantly and it is boring and stressful.

OP back. The kids look forward to this visit every year and do different activities with their cousins they enjoy during the weekend. BIL is saying he won’t come to dinner or bring his kids. FIL is very sick so this is probably the last one with him so we are trying to just go and make the best of it but it’s so hard.

Seriously, why go? You can choose to spend the day differently. And if the answer is 'because they'll give me a hard time" think about the fact that you're getting a hard time from them whether in person or from a distance. Choose distance!

Trying to imagine what kid of long-standing traditions that they are cancelling. In any case, to me, Thanksgiving is a meal. Instead of making a weekend out of it, only attend the actual meal. Is that possible? If the event is that bad, why do you go?

I'm just looking to vent and for some support. I will spare the specifics but suffice it to say I am dreading this thanksgiving due to dysfunctional family dynamics . There has been about a lot of petty behavior, rehashing things that happened 20 years ago, and taking it out on our kids by canceling longstanding traditions at the last minute. It's so incredibly frustrating as its a short holiday and I can't understand why the other adults in question can't just rise to the occasion to have a nice day together. It is also made harder by being surrounded with friends who can't wait to see their extended families and will have housefuls of relatives visiting.
Sigh. I am putting on a positive attitude for the family because life is too short for this nonsense as I am the one who tends to be the peacemaker and focuses everyone on activities that are fun for the kids but it's really exhausting.