My MIL is like this. We stay at a hotel and just meet her for meals out that we pay for and chose the restaurant. We will suck it up for a holiday meal, but that's it.

My IL’s are like this. They live in a rural area and grocery shopping at a regular grocery store - not Dollar General or Walmart that doesn’t have a full grocery section - is difficult. I bring my own healthy food in a cooler. Plain yogurt, low sugar cereals, cheese sticks, fruits, and raw vegetables we can snack on with dips mostly. IL’s will have frozen vegetables and maybe a bagged salad.

I would just bring a cooler with food I want my kids to eat. I vacation with a family every year and they eat nothing but bad food and fast food. If it's not from a microwave they won't eat it. My kids get stomach aches and are constipated if they eat like that. I just bring veggies, oatmeal, fruit, fiber bars and prunes to help my kids out. For all the junk food I just pair it with fiber rich foods and give fiber rich snacks..

Volunteer to cook/grocery shop. My family are definitely sugar addicts who really go in for rich food (meat, heavy cream, etc) at holidays and my newest BIL really struggled the first holiday he spent with us. My sister and I chatted ahead of time the next year and both volunteered to help a bit more with main meals, making sure there were plenty of vegetables in the grocery runs and also less intense options (e.g. roast vegetables instead of baked with maple syrup/dripping in cream sauce; gravy/dressing for dishes on the side, etc). When my oldest sister/parents said things like "oh you don't have to" etc we just jumped in with "you're doing all the work with hosting, of course we want to help with groceries/cooking" and "actually I want to get outside for a bit; it's no problem to run to the grocery store on my way home from the park."

It sounds like your issue is the kids filling up on overprocessed stuff and getting cranky -- maybe if you volunteer to cook a big meal (breakfast with bacon and eggs; solid filling lunch you know the kids will like) every few days to mitigate all the holiday fluff? I know it's a bit more work for you, but it can definitely help keep tempers even. Also, at least in my case, the host family was totally unoffended and they/the other guests actually commented really positively on having the healthier options available.

Anonymous wrote:I bring my own fruit to my ILs. We eat a lot of fruit for snacks and they just don't buy any. We were just there this weekend and I brought apple sauce, mini-oranges, bananas and dried fruit with me. Sometimes I also bring a pepper or cucumber to slice up in addition to chips for lunches. My MIL used to pick up stuff for us and ask me for a list before we visited but her health has declined and that doesn't happen anymore. Kids still eat a lot of junk but at least they get something healthy.

Same. My parents never have fresh fruit or vegetables in the house except iceberg lettuce and maybe bananas. I go to the grocery store and pick up berries, apples, clementines, baby carrots and/or mini cucumbers to supplement their produce-free meals. Otherwise I accept that they eat differently than we do and just deal with it for the length of the visit. I do think guests need to be flexible within reason.

My ILs would stuff my kids full of sugar from dusk til dawn, if left to their own devices. Before we visit them, I tell my kids they can have all the sweets, but only after they eat the real food. So, Lucky Charms are fine, but only after a scrambled egg and a piece of fruit. My situation is easier, because my ILs do eat real food, too. But the sweets. My god, the sweets.

Other PPs have good suggestions about bringing fruit, volunteering to make veggies, etc.

I would tell them that their food is great but you and the kids won’t poop unless you get some more fiber. Just add in some apples, carrots, side salad, oatmeal or Raisin Bran and let the rest go. Most people aren’t offended if you add in something that’s not a hassle for them and everyone appreciates the need to poop. I feel like that’s one thing where you get universal empathy and not a lot of follow up questions.

My in-laws aren't really junk food people, but whenever we stay there they do stuff like order pizza (no salad) or make lasagna (no salad, no bread, no sides). It's tasty enough, but there are 0 veggies or fruits, and it's often just not much food.

I've taken to being proactive and when they say "Do you want to have lasagna or order pizza" I'll say "We need some veggies today - let us order pizza and salad from Pizza Barn and we can do lasagna tomorrow?"

And if I can get to the store to get salad stuff I'll offer to make it. "MIL is it cool if I make a salad? We've been loving this one salad lately and I think you might like it toO. I'm going to the store at 11, do you need anything while I'm there?" Other alternative is to pay for takeout and order ta a place they like, where you can also get something you like. Otherwise, plan to load up on nutrients at lunch or stock shelf-stable snacks.

This is my in laws too. I do just deal with it...but our visits are shorter than they might be. To make matters worse, DH, who is normally a decent eater, goes nuts when home..tons of candy all day, chips, no meals just snacks.

Agree with those that say just supply your own fruits and veggies, nbd.

You don't need to take the junk away, but I do insist on protein foods and fruits/veggies. They can still have the cheetos, but we have to have a protein food too.

Ex: whole milk, cheese, yogurt, meat, eggs, peanut butter etc.

I bring my own fruit to my ILs. We eat a lot of fruit for snacks and they just don't buy any. We were just there this weekend and I brought apple sauce, mini-oranges, bananas and dried fruit with me. Sometimes I also bring a pepper or cucumber to slice up in addition to chips for lunches. My MIL used to pick up stuff for us and ask me for a list before we visited but her health has declined and that doesn't happen anymore. Kids still eat a lot of junk but at least they get something healthy.

I don't see why this is such a big deal. If your in-laws aren't giving you a hard time, why feel guilty? And so what if your kids complain? Just buy some apples and baby carrots or whatever their favorite easy fruits and veggies are and tell them they have to have a couple servings a day.

And if you in-laws are actually really sweet, offer to make an easy veggie dish for dinner. Swap the white potatoes for sweet potatoes. My dad is a huge meat + potatoes guy, but he'll happily eat a side of steamed green beans or broccoli, or roasted brussels sprouts (I add onion and bacon) or whatever.

Anonymous wrote:Unlike the other posters who are dealing with family that offers no food, I have the opposite problem. My IL's only stock their house with extreme amounts of junk food, and almost nothing with any nutritional value. Now...I am not a grinch - I get that it's the holidays, and I truly am okay with my kids being allowed Cheetos, and Oreos, and Lucky Charms during a visit at their grandparents. But! for several days of this type of food, they all start to act crazy and complain of stomach aches. Not to mention - I don't want to eat like this for days on end. They occasionally serve salad or vegetables, but I'm talking iceberg lettuce + croutons + cheese and dressing or mashed potatoes. Heavy amounts of meat at every meal.

They are super sweet, and I've learned that I just go to the grocery store and pick up my own produce, but I feel like an ungrateful b, and certainly my kids get annoyed when I make them eat the occasional healthy thing. We're headed up next week, and I'm already dreading it.

I would definitely bring my own food - would feel sick eating that for too long.

How about compromises such as comfort breakfasts - pancakes made with whole wheat or whole grain flour with Maple syrup? Omelettes with whatever extras they like such as onion and Turkey bacon or frittata type veggies, organic hotdogs without preservatives, baked potato chips with skins still on (or air fryer) .., you get the idea ..,

Unlike the other posters who are dealing with family that offers no food, I have the opposite problem. My IL's only stock their house with extreme amounts of junk food, and almost nothing with any nutritional value. Now...I am not a grinch - I get that it's the holidays, and I truly am okay with my kids being allowed Cheetos, and Oreos, and Lucky Charms during a visit at their grandparents. But! for several days of this type of food, they all start to act crazy and complain of stomach aches. Not to mention - I don't want to eat like this for days on end. They occasionally serve salad or vegetables, but I'm talking iceberg lettuce + croutons + cheese and dressing or mashed potatoes. Heavy amounts of meat at every meal.

They are super sweet, and I've learned that I just go to the grocery store and pick up my own produce, but I feel like an ungrateful b, and certainly my kids get annoyed when I make them eat the occasional healthy thing. We're headed up next week, and I'm already dreading it.