Anonymous wrote:My preference is to adopt an infant. Is this realistic at age 46? Fully prepared to pay for a private placement and birth mother's expenses.

My same age friend was adopted from another country when she was 2 and her mom was 54. My mom had me when she was 27. Our mothers died the same year. My friend's mom, who was single, did a wonderful job raising her.

I think the cutoff for many agencies is 45.

Anonymous wrote:46 is great go for it.

I think it comes down to how old will they be when u die.

If you die at 80 they will be in their 30’s

But OP has no idea how old she will be when she dies. The day after she adopts she could get into a car accident and die.

Anonymous wrote:I'm adopted and this seems selfish to me. You're setting up a child to live their entire adult life without a parent...

Not OP, but I was born when my dad was 46 and he just died at age 95. Sometimes older parents live longer.

We decided not to adopt in our 40s for two reasons: we didn't want to go through the rejections for being "too old" and I am old enough to know many adoptees who didn't really bond with their adopted parents. I realized I would need to be ok with being a caretaker, not perhaps considered their "real mom" depending on the child.

I don't think mid 40s is too old, depending on your health and family longevity.

If you are considering this, I would start right away. I have a single friend in her mid forties who did this recently, and it turned out there were more limits on age and marital status both domestically and internationally than she had expected.

Has Covid made it easier or harder to adopt? Are there less babies for adoption or more?

If you live in the DC area and make under $170K, it will be hard. Expenses are enormous and unending. Will your family help pay for things like child care, camp, braces, various therapies etc?

Anonymous wrote:Different domestic agencies will have different age limits. Same with International agencies.

Think about your support system, financial and physical health and the flexibility of your job.

Adoptive parent - I agree with this

Anonymous wrote:My preference is to adopt an infant. Is this realistic at age 46? Fully prepared to pay for a private placement and birth mother's expenses.

I think mid-40s is okay if you have a dedicated support network or are very wealthy. Infants are draining. And with Covid an issue now, you need to make sure you can make due without day care if necessary.

Different domestic agencies will have different age limits. Same with International agencies.

Think about your support system, financial and physical health and the flexibility of your job.

I'm adopted and this seems selfish to me. You're setting up a child to live their entire adult life without a parent...

It will definitely be easier to adopt an older child. Most people want to adopt an infant. It all depends on what the birth mother values most. She may or may not prefer a married couple.

It will be far easier to adopt Internationally than Domestically in your situation.

46 is great go for it.

I think it comes down to how old will they be when u die.

If you die at 80 they will be in their 30’s

I'm not expert, but I think that's fine.

I was going to say over 50.

My preference is to adopt an infant. Is this realistic at age 46? Fully prepared to pay for a private placement and birth mother's expenses.