Bff, since you are in the wedding. But maybe send spouse and kids to cousins?

Knowing and actually getting an invitation are two different things. OP might have learned that her cousin was getting married through a family member or a save the date card prior to learning that her BFF is getting married. It’s not until the actual invitation goes out that OP will have to make a commitment. Simply knowing about the date of a wedding does not commit you to going.

If OP has returned a response card to the cousin, then she is obligated to go. My guess is that no one has sent out invites. Both brides announced their weddings, and the BFF did so after the cousin. And the BFF asked OP to be in the wedding. Assuming no invitations have gone out, OP will commit to her BFF’s wedding and send a nice gift to the cousin.

Anonymous wrote:If you're in the wedding party, there's your answer.

So if OP’s cousin invited her to her wedding, and OP marked it on her calendar, and the BFF invited her to be in the wedding party a month later? In what universe would that be OK. No one is “declared into” a wedding party. They are *asked* to be in a wedding party, not informed that they are in a wedding party.

Anonymous wrote:You are in BFF's wedding. End of story.

No, it’s not the “end of the story” if OP was invited to her cousin’s wedding/was told that date first.

Whomever first told OP that she was invited to her wedding on X date is the one OP should attend. Even if there is an *invitation* to be in a wedding party, an invitation is not a summons. “I’m so sorry, my cousin Jane is also getting married on that same date, and she already invited us.”

Anonymous wrote:You are in BFF's wedding. End of story.

+1 I really don’t see the dilemma. Even if op wasn’t in the wedding

Anonymous wrote:If you're in the wedding party, there's your answer.

+1

That's an easy call.

If you're in the wedding party, there's your answer.

You are in BFF's wedding. End of story.

BFF. If I were your cousin, I would understand.

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty simple: who invited you first?

Depends on your family situation. Or, who invited you first. Can you go to both?

Best friend's wedding. Cousin won't care that you're not there - just send a gift.

BFF, no question

This is pretty simple: who invited you first?

BFFs as commitment is already made for the date.

You get invited to two weddings that are taking place on the same day. Your best friend's that you have been friends with since second grade and your cousin who you are close with but not as much so as your best friend. Your best friend is pretty much a sister to you. Whose wedding do you go to and why? Also you are in your BFFs wedding but not your cousin's.