Anonymous wrote:My kids better not infantilize me when I am able to take care of myself. It would piss me off if they started treating me like a child while I am perfectly capable. However, your dad may not be as hostile towards being treated like a child as I am. You know best how he might respond to such a comment.

I don't see that as being treated like a child, just caring. It's not like someone's cutting his food for him and making him wear a bib.

My kids better not infantilize me when I am able to take care of myself. It would piss me off if they started treating me like a child while I am perfectly capable. However, your dad may not be as hostile towards being treated like a child as I am. You know best how he might respond to such a comment.

Is he a competent person? If so, it's up to him.

Social contact is good for this health.

Maybe wait until after the holidays. Can you break habits up in the context of New Year's resolutions?

Will he want to go out that much when it is winter? (and is he eating INDOORS that much-not COVID smart).

He is adjusting. I can see that you love him. You are grieving too remember. Be gentle on each other (including yourself).

I would ask why he prefers going out. Perhaps meals area time that makes him REALLY miss your mom.

Maybe have a fun cooking class at this place, with the kids. Show him that he can make healthy, yummy foods at home.

(My mom once went away. She had left frozen food in the freezer for my Dad to eat. He went to McDonald's instead!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad was widowed six months ago. I cannot fault him for wanting to be out many nights, but he's going out to restaurants literally seven nights a week.
He has heart issues and doesn't exercise much. All this fatty food can't be good for him (he's not ordering salads; I check in about what he's eating and it's basically steak) and he's spending like a sailor.
I live nearby and we have him for a home-cooked meal whenever possible and I try to send him home with food, but he really loves going to restaurants with people...

Should I say anything or just STFU?

If you really cared, you'd have him over for dinners. Are you worried he's eating your inheritance?

I am not the OP.

Are you the poster that always makes remarks like this? Sometimes it's not about inheritance, but making sure the parent has enough money to care for themselves the rest of their life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad was widowed six months ago. I cannot fault him for wanting to be out many nights, but he's going out to restaurants literally seven nights a week.
He has heart issues and doesn't exercise much. All this fatty food can't be good for him (he's not ordering salads; I check in about what he's eating and it's basically steak) and he's spending like a sailor.
I live nearby and we have him for a home-cooked meal whenever possible and I try to send him home with food, but he really loves going to restaurants with people...

Should I say anything or just STFU?

If you really cared, you'd have him over for dinners. Are you worried he's eating your inheritance?

Snippy much? We do have him over. I also work 12-hour days and have two young children. And the inheritance comment is extra.

Is this really making a dent in his financials, if you look at it realistically? Assuming it’s not risking his ability to keep a roof over his head, I’d let it go. Maybe revisit in another six months and see where he’s at.

Anonymous wrote:My dad was widowed six months ago. I cannot fault him for wanting to be out many nights, but he's going out to restaurants literally seven nights a week.
He has heart issues and doesn't exercise much. All this fatty food can't be good for him (he's not ordering salads; I check in about what he's eating and it's basically steak) and he's spending like a sailor.
I live nearby and we have him for a home-cooked meal whenever possible and I try to send him home with food, but he really loves going to restaurants with people...

Should I say anything or just STFU?

If you really cared, you'd have him over for dinners. Are you worried he's eating your inheritance?

I'm a retired woman who can't afford to eat out every night. I'd like to date your dad.

Let him live him life.

Does he know how to cook?

Also it’s hard to cook for one.

It's probably good for him to be out and about, but I think it's still ok to talk to him about it in terms of cost and health--calories, sodium and whatnot..Is there anything you can do to help--like package up meals for him to reheat 3-4 times a week, help him find a senior center or someplace similar to fill in his need to socialize and that type of thing?

Anonymous wrote:My dad was widowed six months ago. I cannot fault him for wanting to be out many nights, but he's going out to restaurants literally seven nights a week.
He has heart issues and doesn't exercise much. All this fatty food can't be good for him (he's not ordering salads; I check in about what he's eating and it's basically steak) and he's spending like a sailor.
I live nearby and we have him for a home-cooked meal whenever possible and I try to send him home with food, but he really loves going to restaurants with people...

Should I say anything or just STFU?

STFU. Six months out you should be glad he’s getting out.

He's lonely. Have him over more often.

My dad was widowed six months ago. I cannot fault him for wanting to be out many nights, but he's going out to restaurants literally seven nights a week.
He has heart issues and doesn't exercise much. All this fatty food can't be good for him (he's not ordering salads; I check in about what he's eating and it's basically steak) and he's spending like a sailor.
I live nearby and we have him for a home-cooked meal whenever possible and I try to send him home with food, but he really loves going to restaurants with people...

Should I say anything or just STFU?