Feel free to ask your kids why their father is not around much yet always buying them new stuff. They will get the answer right.

Anonymous wrote:Why the F can’t you buy your own stuff? Or use your words if you want certain surprises? Jesus.

This.

Is he some type of controlling a hole? Buy what you need. Make sure the kids are doing their homework and practices. Life isn’t all games and gifts. Start volunteering and donating as a family.

This is the kind of post that usually pops up on Mother’s Day and Christmas morning. I don’t understand making a detailed list for your spouse, they buy it and throw it into a gift bag = LOVE? This is messed up.

Your post is most incoherent , but yes you should go back to work

Anonymous wrote:Why the F can’t you buy your own stuff? Or use your words if you want certain surprises? Jesus.

It's not the cost of the stuff, it is the obvious fact that DH isn't thinking carefully about what she wants and how to show that he cares about her. And her DH is capable of thinking about how to give meaningful gifts to people who are special to him, because he does that for his kids. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave her those types of gifts when they dated, and now that they're married he's has stopped.

When you get a "check the box, just phoning it in" gift from your spouse, it sends a signal, and if you thought about it, you probably wouldn't want to send that signal.

Anonymous wrote:I splurge on myself all the time. No need for DH to buy anything for me

+1 This way I get exactly what I want. Though to be fair to my DH he would buy me anything if I asked him to get it for me as a gift.

I splurge on myself all the time. No need for DH to buy anything for me

I think that you need to work with your husband to have a budget that will include splurge items for you and the kids. I think that it is hard to deal with these things in the moment and sitting out and budgeting can take away some of the emotional aspects of it.

Yes. My spouse is entirely like this. As am I. My DH treats himself to what he wants, as do I. Except at birthdays and Christmas, when I make a list of the shit I want. And he doesn't do that so well, so he ends up with a new 3-pack of underwear.

But what actually is your issue here??

Anonymous wrote:Why the F can’t you buy your own stuff? Or use your words if you want certain surprises? Jesus.

+1

However, there seems to be something deeper here than just 'stuff'...

Are you a SAHM?

Many people devalue and take for granted your contribution to the family. Most kids are raised to devalue caregiving, so it’s not exclusive to your husband. I’m sorry pure feeling unappreciated.

It’s because he’s really sure his kids love him, but you, not so much.

Because he prioritizes the children over you. It happens a lot in marriages.

Why the F can’t you buy your own stuff? Or use your words if you want certain surprises? Jesus.

Your spouse like this? If the kids buy more than one expensive sneakers, makeup, clothes that are a rip off- why is it so bad for the spouse to upgrade? It’s like those divorce stories, the man marries a woman he loves, adores- then he wants a new model but he’ll still splurge on their kids who like identical to the mother.
Ah time for me to go back to work.