Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:45
Subject: Re:Parents of "biters"
Parent of a former biter here. I agree that it will most likely stop on its own. Mine is now 10 and I still am not sure what the cause of the biting was (he also never did it at home) but to this day, he still puts things in his mouth when he's not supposed to (the TV remote, for example). Mine never really bit when he was mad so I think it was more of a sensory issue in his case. In fact, we had to eventually take pacifiers away from him completely because he would bite them to the point where the tip was just hanging off and they became a choking hazard.
I wouldn't switch centers as I think it will wane off by the time you find a new place and I don't think the center is the issue. What worked for us is I got in his face and yelled very sternly that he is not to bite. Maybe not the best approach but it stopped after that. I tried to do the rewards and they sent him home several times (they never threatened to kick him out, even thought it said so in the "rules") but until I took the opposite approach and just let him have it, nothing else worked.
I wouldn't switch centers as I think it will wane off by the time you find a new place and I don't think the center is the issue. What worked for us is I got in his face and yelled very sternly that he is not to bite. Maybe not the best approach but it stopped after that. I tried to do the rewards and they sent him home several times (they never threatened to kick him out, even thought it said so in the "rules") but until I took the opposite approach and just let him have it, nothing else worked.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:43
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Anonymous wrote:Aggressive or physical behavior at daycare MAY indicate that there is something questionable going on there she is unable to verbalize to you. Especially when the behavior is not seen anywhere but at daycare. You mention that the staff seems overwhelmed and/or understaffed. This could result in negative situations your little one cannot tolerate. I would search for a new daycare if I were you.
Fwiw, there are live cameras and I do watch sometimes. Nothing alarming, I just know they are at their max ratio and I assume that age is particularly hard to chase with one or two teachers.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:42
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Anonymous wrote:How's her language? For us the issue around that age was that her speech was a bit slow in coming and so she bit because she couldn't say "no" when a kid took something from her. It passed once she could talk more.
For the center, I'm not sure. Do daycares really kick kids out for biting at that age? Ours never seemed like that was likely (ours was on both ends of biting incidents). Biting isn't acceptable, but it's pretty common and expected. For ours, I know the stress of changing daycares would not have helped the biting.
Actually her language is quite good. I think she is still learning (as are all 2yos) to express emotions accurately, but she certainly knows how to say no and will sometimes gesture away from me and say "no, Mama. Bye bye." when she doesn't want me in her space. I wish it was as straightforward as "this is how she's communicating for lack of verbal skills" but her vocab is huge.
I honestly can't tell how likely it is they will kick kids out or if it's just a CYA part of their handbook.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:42
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Aggressive or physical behavior at daycare MAY indicate that there is something questionable going on there she is unable to verbalize to you. Especially when the behavior is not seen anywhere but at daycare. You mention that the staff seems overwhelmed and/or understaffed. This could result in negative situations your little one cannot tolerate. I would search for a new daycare if I were you.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:40
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Anonymous wrote:Might be a supervision issue.
No teething necklace in the daycare setting! If they permit them, then leave.
Lovie at school creates issues. When just the daycare toys, they the toys are for everyone to share. A lovie out during free time creates a "MINE!" issue and something to be extra territorial about.
Bribes after school are too disconnected from the event from the day for her to make a connection to and learn from.
It environment may not be the right fir for her.
Teach her to yell "NO!" or teach her to ROAR when frustrated. This provides a loud heads up for the providers to get to her quick before she bites.
As she has a known concern of biting they really should have her within arms reach the majority of the time.
The bolded is very smart, and I agree, I would love for them to be keeping her within arm's length. Solid points here.
I thought the same about the bribing, especially at such a young age, but every time we mention "no biting," she says the name of the snack, and her teacher reminds her during the day, so I had some hope that she was making the connection.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:39
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Anonymous wrote:Are there not legal requirement of space needed between the children at naptime - typically a minimum of 2 feet prior to covid.
Read the inspection reports. Things may have changed, but that was the most common violation that we found when we were looking at centers in Alexandria.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:39
Subject: Parents of "biters"
How's her language? For us the issue around that age was that her speech was a bit slow in coming and so she bit because she couldn't say "no" when a kid took something from her. It passed once she could talk more.
For the center, I'm not sure. Do daycares really kick kids out for biting at that age? Ours never seemed like that was likely (ours was on both ends of biting incidents). Biting isn't acceptable, but it's pretty common and expected. For ours, I know the stress of changing daycares would not have helped the biting.
For the center, I'm not sure. Do daycares really kick kids out for biting at that age? Ours never seemed like that was likely (ours was on both ends of biting incidents). Biting isn't acceptable, but it's pretty common and expected. For ours, I know the stress of changing daycares would not have helped the biting.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:38
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Anonymous wrote:Are there not legal requirement of space needed between the children at naptime - typically a minimum of 2 feet prior to covid.
There are, they have their own mats. She is sneaking out of hers and getting into others' space. As anyone with a biting or running toddler knows, it's a matter of seconds that these incidents can happen
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:35
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Are there not legal requirement of space needed between the children at naptime - typically a minimum of 2 feet prior to covid.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:33
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Might be a supervision issue.
No teething necklace in the daycare setting! If they permit them, then leave.
Lovie at school creates issues. When just the daycare toys, they the toys are for everyone to share. A lovie out during free time creates a "MINE!" issue and something to be extra territorial about.
Bribes after school are too disconnected from the event from the day for her to make a connection to and learn from.
It environment may not be the right fir for her.
Teach her to yell "NO!" or teach her to ROAR when frustrated. This provides a loud heads up for the providers to get to her quick before she bites.
As she has a known concern of biting they really should have her within arms reach the majority of the time.
No teething necklace in the daycare setting! If they permit them, then leave.
Lovie at school creates issues. When just the daycare toys, they the toys are for everyone to share. A lovie out during free time creates a "MINE!" issue and something to be extra territorial about.
Bribes after school are too disconnected from the event from the day for her to make a connection to and learn from.
It environment may not be the right fir for her.
Teach her to yell "NO!" or teach her to ROAR when frustrated. This provides a loud heads up for the providers to get to her quick before she bites.
As she has a known concern of biting they really should have her within arms reach the majority of the time.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:33
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Hope for best, plan for worst? As PP said, she may very well stop very soon. But if not and they ask you to leave, you may want to have a back-up plan, maybe a center or daycare that has a higher ratio of staff to kids for better supervision.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:33
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My DD (2y) has had on/off biting issues at daycare since 18 months. She is an only child. She does not bite at home or in front of us (at playgrounds, playdates, etc.) -- only at school.
We are very attached to her daycare (a large center) and her teachers but they seem slightly overwhelmed/understaffed.
I am concerned she will get kicked out. We are trying our best (both parents and teachers) to correct this behavior but it seems like two steps forward, one step back. We just weaned her from the paci, which was the daycare's Band-Aid fix for her biting (which she would do more often while teething). We are trying:
-teething necklace
-rewards/bribes (favorite snack after school if she doesn't bite)
-redirection/keeping her hands busy
-teaching about sharing (she sometimes bites when another kid grabs a toy she wants)
-having a lovie at school
I know everyone thinks their own child is an angel, but DD is truly a sweet, empathetic child who has always been easygoing and calm. There are occasional toddler tantrums/meltdowns at home, but she is not a mean or aggressive child. She comforts crying children and even adults when they are sad.
My discipline approach: I am a firm but gentle parent who likes consistent, simple redirecting for undesirable toddler behavior.
My question: what is my best option here? "Quit" before she's fired? It is such a fraught emotional topic thinking of switching caregivers, but it is becoming a source of major stress for us and frankly she learned the behavior in that environment. A one-on-one nanny is out of budget for us (as are most lower-ratio centers, tbh) but can anyone recommend centers (or in-homes) that worked wonders for their biting toddler?
We are in Alexandria (City).
What is prompting the biting? Are there very specific things that happen before she bites?
Two situations: Another child has the toy she wants (or tries to grab it from her), or she lays down with another child during naptime to cuddle and they push her away because they want space. (We have also been trying to teach her to "give space" to people.)
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:31
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Anonymous wrote:My DD (2y) has had on/off biting issues at daycare since 18 months. She is an only child. She does not bite at home or in front of us (at playgrounds, playdates, etc.) -- only at school.
We are very attached to her daycare (a large center) and her teachers but they seem slightly overwhelmed/understaffed.
I am concerned she will get kicked out. We are trying our best (both parents and teachers) to correct this behavior but it seems like two steps forward, one step back. We just weaned her from the paci, which was the daycare's Band-Aid fix for her biting (which she would do more often while teething). We are trying:
-teething necklace
-rewards/bribes (favorite snack after school if she doesn't bite)
-redirection/keeping her hands busy
-teaching about sharing (she sometimes bites when another kid grabs a toy she wants)
-having a lovie at school
I know everyone thinks their own child is an angel, but DD is truly a sweet, empathetic child who has always been easygoing and calm. There are occasional toddler tantrums/meltdowns at home, but she is not a mean or aggressive child. She comforts crying children and even adults when they are sad.
My discipline approach: I am a firm but gentle parent who likes consistent, simple redirecting for undesirable toddler behavior.
My question: what is my best option here? "Quit" before she's fired? It is such a fraught emotional topic thinking of switching caregivers, but it is becoming a source of major stress for us and frankly she learned the behavior in that environment. A one-on-one nanny is out of budget for us (as are most lower-ratio centers, tbh) but can anyone recommend centers (or in-homes) that worked wonders for their biting toddler?
We are in Alexandria (City).
What is prompting the biting? Are there very specific things that happen before she bites?
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:29
Subject: Parents of "biters"
Biting is usually a short phase that kids move through quickly, so I would try to stick with your current center if you can.
However, my biter turned out to have sensory seeking issues, so his issues are somewhat more involved.
However, my biter turned out to have sensory seeking issues, so his issues are somewhat more involved.
Anonymous
10/25/2021 11:24
Subject: Parents of "biters"
My DD (2y) has had on/off biting issues at daycare since 18 months. She is an only child. She does not bite at home or in front of us (at playgrounds, playdates, etc.) -- only at school.
We are very attached to her daycare (a large center) and her teachers but they seem slightly overwhelmed/understaffed.
I am concerned she will get kicked out. We are trying our best (both parents and teachers) to correct this behavior but it seems like two steps forward, one step back. We just weaned her from the paci, which was the daycare's Band-Aid fix for her biting (which she would do more often while teething). We are trying:
-teething necklace
-rewards/bribes (favorite snack after school if she doesn't bite)
-redirection/keeping her hands busy
-teaching about sharing (she sometimes bites when another kid grabs a toy she wants)
-having a lovie at school
I know everyone thinks their own child is an angel, but DD is truly a sweet, empathetic child who has always been easygoing and calm. There are occasional toddler tantrums/meltdowns at home, but she is not a mean or aggressive child. She comforts crying children and even adults when they are sad.
My discipline approach: I am a firm but gentle parent who likes consistent, simple redirecting for undesirable toddler behavior.
My question: what is my best option here? "Quit" before she's fired? It is such a fraught emotional topic thinking of switching caregivers, but it is becoming a source of major stress for us and frankly she learned the behavior in that environment. A one-on-one nanny is out of budget for us (as are most lower-ratio centers, tbh) but can anyone recommend centers (or in-homes) that worked wonders for their biting toddler?
We are in Alexandria (City).
We are very attached to her daycare (a large center) and her teachers but they seem slightly overwhelmed/understaffed.
I am concerned she will get kicked out. We are trying our best (both parents and teachers) to correct this behavior but it seems like two steps forward, one step back. We just weaned her from the paci, which was the daycare's Band-Aid fix for her biting (which she would do more often while teething). We are trying:
-teething necklace
-rewards/bribes (favorite snack after school if she doesn't bite)
-redirection/keeping her hands busy
-teaching about sharing (she sometimes bites when another kid grabs a toy she wants)
-having a lovie at school
I know everyone thinks their own child is an angel, but DD is truly a sweet, empathetic child who has always been easygoing and calm. There are occasional toddler tantrums/meltdowns at home, but she is not a mean or aggressive child. She comforts crying children and even adults when they are sad.
My discipline approach: I am a firm but gentle parent who likes consistent, simple redirecting for undesirable toddler behavior.
My question: what is my best option here? "Quit" before she's fired? It is such a fraught emotional topic thinking of switching caregivers, but it is becoming a source of major stress for us and frankly she learned the behavior in that environment. A one-on-one nanny is out of budget for us (as are most lower-ratio centers, tbh) but can anyone recommend centers (or in-homes) that worked wonders for their biting toddler?
We are in Alexandria (City).