It's a baby. It does what it wants.

We did a routine from birth -- feed, awake time, sleep. Starting around 2 weeks that seemed to be fairly consistent on a 3 hour schedule. So I'd nurse for 30-45 minutes (baby was such a slow eater), she'd be awake for about another 10-15 minutes max, then she'd sleep for 1-2 hours. Usually she slept on me, or in a swing in front of me, neither of which allowed me to get any sleep. For the first "nap" of the day I often tried to put her back in the bassinet so I could either sleep more or take a shower. Around 6 weeks we started doing naps in her crib. It took a couple weeks but she got the hang of it and that greatly helped me because I could get a proper nap while she slept in her crib.

With the first, around 2 months or so. With the second, from day one, as we had to plan feeds etc around preschool dropoffs/ pickups etc.
In my experience, the schedule changes quite frequently from birth to 6 months, then stays the same from 6-months to around 15 months when they drop the morning nap, then stays the same until age 3 or so when they drop the nap altogether.
Once they get to elementary school it gets a bit reorganized based on activities, etc.

My oldest is 12yo. It still hasn’t happened.

My 5 yo was on a schedule by 3 months and it lasted until maybe 8 months.

Fingers crossed for #3.

Some babies sleep less than average. Don't waste your time (trying to) rock a baby to sleep with wide wide awake eyes. If you look at the recommended sleep schedule, try the schedule for 1-2 month older baby.

6 weeks or so, I started nudging her.

2 months, she was on a schedule

Depends what you mean by schedule!

My baby was on a very predictable sleep and eating schedule at 4 months. Three naps a day with predictable feeds and wakeful periods.

However, she was on a schedule before that, too, it’s just that it was one that was less convenient for me. She was waking up between 5 and 6 am every morning, eating, and then falling back asleep until 8 or 9. And then for the rest of the day she’d wake up, be alert for an hour, get hungry, and fall asleep for an hour. Until about 5pm, at which point she’d go through a two to five hour fussy period (probably gas) before finally falling asleep breastfeeding sometime between 7 and 10pm. That schedule sucked! But it was still a schedule and it was remarkable consistent. Fortunately it only lasted a couple months!

I’d just stuck with continuing to respond to your baby’s needs and see how it goes. The wakeful periods start to stretch out. The random 15-30 minute naps thus disappear, and the three or four “real” naps then become more predictable and reliable. Chronic fussiness is really common at the 2-4 month age but usually fades, and that was exactly our experience. Plus nighttime sleep just keeps getting better and that makes everything else easier because you are less sleep deprived.

But yeah, it takes some time. Around 3.5 months was when I felt like we hit our stride and really got into a good rhythm that worked for us.

OP here. First of all, thanks for all the responses - SUPER helpful.

To the PP who asked what we do for sleep: he sometimes puts himself to sleep. In the evenings, I do a bedtime routine for bath then feeding. Then, when I'm burping him, he starts dozing. By the time I put him down, he's sleepy but awake, and will almost always fall asleep on his own.

For naps, I try to do a routine too -- sing him a lullaby while rocking him, then shushing while rocking until his eyes are heavy, then putting him down while awake. But he has a harder time putting himself to sleep, so if that routine doesn't work, i'll take him out for a walk or let him fall asleep in my arms.

Anonymous wrote:Some people say it's impossible until 3 months. Others have their babies on a schedule by two weeks. What was your experience / approach?

I'm a FTM with a 10 week old (gestational age = 5 weeks) and our schedule is basically determined by his feed-wake cycle. We feed him about every 3 hours and try to get him down for a nap after 60-75 mins of awake time, since that's what's commonly recommended. But it can be really hard to get him to nap, and I'm wondering if I should just let it go or try to force the issue by rocking him etc etc until he falls asleep.

PP here. What are you doing now for sleep? Does he put himself to sleep?

We had a routine since about 4 weeks and a schedule by 8 weeks. We follow his wake schedule and base it off that. He’s 3 months old and we have him on a 90 minute wake window and 3 hour eating schedule.

60 minutes at 10 weeks seems to be a little short. I would recommend maybe stretching it to 75 mins. Most babies at 10 weeks have a 60-90 minute wake window. It depends on the baby. We start our routine at 80 minutes and he’s down by 90 minutes.

I don’t recommend letting him just go because it’s easier for them to get overtired. Most babies between 2-4 months fight naps. Follow cues or a clock if baby doesn’t cue. Early signs are gazing off, red eyes, and yawning. Late signs are fussing and crying. We try to get it earlier that way he is never overtired.

When he went to preschool.

I know not everyone loves the strict 3 hour schedule, but our kid had a 10 day stay in the NICU and they were SO strict about keeping the kids on it. Of course, it’s a hospital setting with multiple caregivers and tons of monitors. Our child was fed very strictly every 3 hours - 3, 6, 9, 12- around the clock, 30 min opportunity to fed. When we got home we just stuck to this schedule and by 6 weeks we had 8 hour stretches at night.

One of the very few upsides of a NICU stay- free (as long as your have insurance), experienced help!

We’re 2 week schedule people. We’ve had two kids - one very easy baby, one much more difficult, borderline colic, and I think in both cases, we would have gone insane without a schedule.

The way this looks for us is that we track feedings in an app from day one. We wake to feed if it’s been three hours since the last feeding, day or night, but I think that’s pretty standard before they’re back to birthweight, or at least common. When the doctor says we can start doing longer stretches, we do so at nighttime only. We never let a baby go more than 3 hours between feedings (start to start) until after they are reliably sleeping through the night. Then around 10 days, we start waking the baby at our desired daily wake time. For the first it was 8am, for the second 7am to help mesh with big brother’s schedule. After a few day of this, you’ve got a good sense of the baby’s rhythm. Does she tend to wake herself after 2 or 2.5 hours? Are you often having to wake her? Is it different at different times of the day (eating every two hours is sooo common at night)? Then we take a look at the two weeks of data we have, see what works for our baby, combine that with what works for our lives, and come up with a schedule.

For us, schedule at this age is feeding times. We do eat/wake/sleep and determine when to put baby down for a nap based on wake windows, which involves a lot of trial and error. We always wake baby to eat on the schedule, and at least in the early weeks, we rock to sleep for naps as needed, though as baby ages, we’ll start working on independent sleep skills and allow a little fussing as he tries to put himself to sleep (just a few minutes). If that doesn’t work, we rock to sleep.

While I think this has worked well for us, I think whether you do a schedule or not is more about what works for you, the parents. Babies can thrive both with or without a schedule, but their parent’s sanity is priceless.

Babies find their own schedules, OP, somewhere around four or five months. Try to put the baby down to sleep but there’s nothing wrong with wearing or holding for naps. Morning stroller naps are good too. Night sleep for you and baby comes first. Feed as much as possible during the day and get baby sunlight. Their daytime schedule reveals itself!

Some people say it's impossible until 3 months. Others have their babies on a schedule by two weeks. What was your experience / approach?

I'm a FTM with a 10 week old (gestational age = 5 weeks) and our schedule is basically determined by his feed-wake cycle. We feed him about every 3 hours and try to get him down for a nap after 60-75 mins of awake time, since that's what's commonly recommended. But it can be really hard to get him to nap, and I'm wondering if I should just let it go or try to force the issue by rocking him etc etc until he falls asleep.