This sounds like me as well. I’m not a present person. I don’t expect presents and I’m really bad about giving them. When I do give is my unconditional love, devotion and loyalty.

I guess this is me too.

Are women supposed to get men anniversary gifts? I kind of feel like this is the one time of the year that he is in charge of the plans and gift getting. I do every holiday and birthday.

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just discuss your plans like adults? Dh and I don't do gifts but we always do a nice dinner and some years do a get away. We consider that our gift to each other.

Same. We decided in year 1 not to do gifts and that we would rather spend it on a nice dinner (in those days we rarely went out for dinner so it was a real occasion). This year we did a weekend away. We are in year 35 now so it seems to have worked out okay.

oof.. this is me. But I know you are not DH because he has never bought me anything from Tiffanys, not that I want him to.

I have always been terrible at remembering bdays, as well, because my family has never made a big deal of my bday (cue the violin). DH's family is very into sending cards on people's bdays.

I do recognize beforehand that our anniversary is coming up but with kids and working, thinking about what to cook for dinner tomorrow so I can prep, I just forget. It was a lot easier to remember before we had kids.

But, I have only not remembered to get a card once. I usually get DH something small if I do get him something on bday/anniversary. We don't normally go all out on those dates.

Anonymous wrote:It's normally the opposite. My wife has forgotten our anniversary the last four years. I normally give, at the least, flowers and a small gift. Last two years I gave her Tiffanys. She's never given me anything. Our's is coming up. Should I "forgot" like she does or waste money (we can't afford) on something for her?

Have you ever told her what you wanted? You might try that. My DH has told me "nothing" so he has gotten exactly that. Or some other crap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Honey, how would you like to celebrate this year? Gifts for each other? A nice dinner?”

+1

Do this but also have a couple thoughtful suggestions.

If she’s working fulltime, doing most of the child stuff, house stuff, family schedule stuff the last thing she wants is her Life Partner asking her what to do. In fact don’t kick off most weekends or conversations asking What should we do? That’s annoying. It’s annoying at work and it’s annoying on a two person team at home. If you truly have nothing to add maybe you have to, but come on!

I'm the worst with dates and have gotten our anniversary date wrong a few times. But we talk about it and usually decide if there is a larger purchase that we want to attribute to the anniversary - we've had a laptop anniversary, a hammock anniversary, a new floors anniversary, etc. And we either go out to eat or get fancier take out and sit down together to really enjoy it.

Anonymous wrote:“Honey, how would you like to celebrate this year? Gifts for each other? A nice dinner?”

+1

Why don't you just discuss your plans like adults? Dh and I don't do gifts but we always do a nice dinner and some years do a get away. We consider that our gift to each other.

Has the relationship, teamwork on the homefront and general conversation been lacking the last few months?

We don’t do anniversary gifts. We are grown adults and can buy mostly what we want. We choose to spend that money on a dinner out together. If this is causing you stress, then how about you guys agree to no gifts and nice night out that you plan together? I mean really we get to an age where someone’s time is what we want.

Why? Is she mad at you, or just not a present person? Reason matters.

Instead of indulging in resentment do something for both of you, like dinner reservations, day trip to Annapolis, theatre tickets.

If you’re spending joint money that you don’t have to spare it’s not actually so nice to give an expensive gift.

“Honey, how would you like to celebrate this year? Gifts for each other? A nice dinner?”

It's normally the opposite. My wife has forgotten our anniversary the last four years. I normally give, at the least, flowers and a small gift. Last two years I gave her Tiffanys. She's never given me anything. Our's is coming up. Should I "forgot" like she does or waste money (we can't afford) on something for her?