Anonymous wrote:My husband was very disrespectful to me and drove me to tears many times. J chose to end our marriage and I was at peace with it until recently. I miss him but I am not sure why. He never put me first and I don't think he ever would but my heart is breaking the past 24 hours. I am a little resentful that he goes out with friends, ignores texts about the kids, and answers when he feels like it. I don't know if I miss him or if I am upset that he is continuing on and does not seem to be missing me at all.

Sounds like you moved from an abusive marriage to someone attempting post separation abuse situation. You need professional help to learn to cope and distance yourself while coparenting with this type of jerk.

Anonymous wrote:My husband was very disrespectful to me and drove me to tears many times. J chose to end our marriage and I was at peace with it until recently. I miss him but I am not sure why. He never put me first and I don't think he ever would but my heart is breaking the past 24 hours. I am a little resentful that he goes out with friends, ignores texts about the kids, and answers when he feels like it. I don't know if I miss him or if I am upset that he is continuing on and does not seem to be missing me at all.

You need to yellow rock his text or emails.

Also, don’t let him control you via the kids or manipulating that. Document things and go back to court if he is not following the custody agreement. Document each time and heck, wear a Go Pro at drop offs or do them at the fire station.

You were in a verbally abusive and emotionally abusive relationship. Good riddance.

Work on yourself, get therapy since he likely tore you down and won’t ever improve. I feel sorry for anyone that needs to depend on him. I hope he doesn’t mistreat the children.

For now so self care, journaling, support groups, meet up groups for women like you that left bad situations, new friend a hobby groups.

If you kept notes or a diary from your abusive marriage, skim it quickly to get perspective. Heal. Get stinger.

It sounds like you miss the idea of him - but the reality was not good for you. It is normal to be sad for awhile - it's hard adjusting to a new life - but your best life is ahead of you.

I think when he acts like this you are disappointed all over again. You feel the loss of what you never had — his care and concern. I’m so sorry you are feeling that. The divorce won’t take the pain of that away, unfortunately, but maybe if you allow yourself to feel those specific things you are disappointed about you will be able to mourn them and move on.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the responses. I don't know what I expect from him. I guess realization but I know that won't happen.. I feel like a fool for crying.

Hugs op. You need to grieve for your marriage. Crying is part of that process.

OP here. Thanks for all the responses. I don't know what I expect from him. I guess realization but I know that won't happen.. I feel like a fool for crying.

I think you are jealous he is not having a hard time at all. Or maybe you thought pursuing a divorce would change your relationship and you really wanted him to change. I think you miss the familarity. I don't think you actually miss the relationship you had with him. I'm sorry. I divorced but I did it after many years of knowing it was completely over so there was zero emotion with mine. Try to start a new life and don't even think about him or what he is doing.

Anonymous wrote:You chose to end the marriage and he is moving on. You need to do the same and deep down you know you don't miss him.

This, what do you want him to do? Most of the texts probably don't need an immediate or any response.

Anonymous wrote:My husband was very disrespectful to me and drove me to tears many times. J chose to end our marriage and I was at peace with it until recently. I miss him but I am not sure why. He never put me first and I don't think he ever would but my heart is breaking the past 24 hours. I am a little resentful that he goes out with friends, ignores texts about the kids, and answers when he feels like it. I don't know if I miss him or if I am upset that he is continuing on and does not seem to be missing me at all.

There is an old song-"I'll never get over you getting oh-veher meeeeee".

Unfortunately divorce doesn’t solve any of the problems that caused the divorce. It just opens the door to the hope of something better, which may or may not ever happen.

You don’t really miss him. You miss the emotional abuse.

You chose to end the marriage and he is moving on. You need to do the same and deep down you know you don't miss him.

It sounds like the issue is more the latter. How long have you been divorced?

My husband was very disrespectful to me and drove me to tears many times. J chose to end our marriage and I was at peace with it until recently. I miss him but I am not sure why. He never put me first and I don't think he ever would but my heart is breaking the past 24 hours. I am a little resentful that he goes out with friends, ignores texts about the kids, and answers when he feels like it. I don't know if I miss him or if I am upset that he is continuing on and does not seem to be missing me at all.